Familyness

Our baby is growing up

Brad and I are sitting on the couch watching Bri, who is entertaining herself with the cut up apple that I gave her for a snack. She moves the slices around on the coffee table playing some game that only she understands.

"Can I have a piece, baby?" I ask. She picks up a piece that she hasn't touched in a while, and hands it to me "Here, mommy."

I inspect the piece finding some dog hair on it, and know that it's one that has been dropped on the floor. I decide to give it to Brad, who splits it in half and hands me the less hairy piece to eat.

"If you were her favorite she would have given you a non hairy piece, I never have to eat dog hair."

I watch Bri as she drops another slice on the ground then looks at me hoping I didn't notice and hands it to me smiling. She's so lucky that she's cute.

"I can't believe that she's already one," I look to Brad and notice him staring in Bri's direction "It seems like just yesterday I found out I was pregnant with her."

"Mom, hurry up! I can't be late today!" Ari is already downstairs ready to go to school, along with Lucas, who is still half asleep. Brad is still sleeping.

"I'll be down in 5 minutes," I shout "You won't be late!"

I stand holding the two positive tests that are about to change our lives. Mixed emotions fill me causing me to cry. Cry of anger, happiness, confusion. Everything. I just don't know how this happened. Brad and I always use protection because we knew we didn't want anymore, but now that I'm holding these tests that all has changed.

"Hey, babe," I hear Brad wake up and walk towards the bathroom "You okay? The kids are waiting."

"Yeah," I quickly throw the tests to the side just as he walks in. I'll tell him later "I'm fine. I'll take them now."

What I don't hear, is him moving stuff around to find what I hid.

I walk back in the house after taking this kids to school, with a slightly tear sidelined face. I cried the whole way home because I don't know how to react if Brad doesn't want this baby. I don't even really know what to do if he does.

"Hey," Brad greets me looking distracted himself "Come here." He puts his arms out for me, and I instantly take the invention walking right for him and lay my head on his chest where I feel most comfortable. I start to cry again, not caring anymore. He'll have to find out eventually.

"Brad," I look up at him once I get the courage to, but he cuts me off.

"I know, Jen." He surprises me "I looked to see what you hid earlier because I knew something was wrong."

"You're not mad?"

"Surprised, but no, I'm not mad." He points my chin up towards him "Look, it's scary, but we've done this twice before, we know what to do. I called your doctor earlier and you have an appointment in an hour to figure out how far along you are." I sigh of relief. I don't know why I ever doubted him wanting this baby.

"Daddy, play!!" Bri tugs on Brad's arm trying to pull him off the couch. He sits on the floor with her and she talks to him in her language that only she understands. Every few minutes she looks up at me making sure that I'm still watching them, but doesn't try to get me to play. She's clearly a daddy's girl.

"Mom? Dad?" I hear Luke yell as he walks in the door followed by Ari.

"We're in the living room." I answer and they join us right away. Bri gets excited when she sees them and pushes Brad to the side pulling them down on the floor to play.

Brad gets back up on the couch and pulls me onto his lap where we watch the kids playing together "Do you remember when we told them?" He asks me "How they reacted to it?" Does he mean Ari's freak out? Of course I remember that.

It's been two days now since we found out I'm pregnant, and we found out at the doctors that I'm just about 2 months along. We decided it's time to tell the kids before they start to question it, but I'm really scared to see how they'll react.

"Hey, kids can you come downstairs?!" Brad yells up to them "Mom and I have to talk to you!"

They run down the steps and into the living room where we tell them to sit on the couch. I can't tell them, so Brad takes over.

"Okay, we know this is big news, but we have something important to tell you." He starts. The kids are on the edge of their seats thinking that it's something really exciting. He looks over at me, and I nod, so he goes on, "Your mom's pregnant."

The kids look at us in shock.

"Really?" Luke looks up at us after a few seconds "I'm gonna have a little brother or sister?"

"Yeah," I smile feeling much better "You are!"

Ari, on the other hand is not nearly as excited. She looks like she's either going to break something or cry. Before I have the chance to say anything, she gets up and runs to her room.

"I'll stay with Luke," Brad hints at me following her "Good luck."

I brace myself for what I'm about to walk into, and knock on her door.

"Arianna? Can we talk? Please." She opens the door and sits back down on her bed.

"Look, I know this is shocking, and a lot to take in, but a baby is a good thing." I want to go on, but I don't really know what to say.

"But why are you guys having another baby when you already have 2?" She looks up at me with red tear stained eyes "Are we not good enough?"

"Of course you guys are, honey." I sit next to her letting her lay her head in my lap "Your dad I love you and Luke more than you'll ever know. Accidents happen, and sometimes things can be forgotten, but we have to think of the baby as the good thing it is."

I don't really remember much more, but I know there was lots of crying and talking. From that day on, Brad and I knew that Luke was going to be the most amazing big brother, and once Ari got used to the idea she'd be a great big sister, too.

Sorry we've had some timing problems and have been busy... there is an update that will be up as soon as possible!