Drunk History Of Fall Out Boy

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Brendon's POV

So it was the summer of 2001. Joe meets Patrick and he's like "Yo, I know about music." and Patrick is like "Yo, I know MORE about music." and then Joe says "that's impossible, do you want to start a band?" and then Patrick's like "yeah, that's cool." and then they're like "yo this is a bookstore, not a music store!"
and then, they met at Patrick's house. so Patrick's wearing shorts, and socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums, for some fucking reason. and Pete's there for some reason. And they're playing music together, and they're like "oh, let's play some covers from some other bands!" it was like green day, and fuckin Misfits, and fuckin Ramones! Pete said to Joe, "yo, we gotta change this shit up. Yo, we played all these bands, let's play shit from Fall Out Boy." and so Pete and Patrick are like "yo, that's dope. but we need a fucking drummer!" because Patrick's playing the drums, and he's a singer! Patrick's like "yo I got a soul voice" and they're like "wait how do you have a soul voice?" and he's like "yo, watch this." *pause* "yeEeeEeeEEeEeEeeeeEeeeAaaAaaaAaaAAaaaaaAaaaaaaaaaAaAaàaaAaAHHHhhhHh" and they're like "oh my god, that sounds like soul!" so they put it in a song, and it was like "where is your boy tOnIGGGGhgggHgggHgghhhhhHht?" and they're like "yo, that's fuckin perfect, this is fall out boy." and they made records like evening out with your ex girlfriend. evening out with your ex girlfriend. everybody LOVES it. *its called evening out with your girlfriend* with your ex girlfriend! its called evening out with your ex girlfriend!! its called eating out your girlfriend, and its real and it doesn't matter!
and Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he was like "yo watch the fUuUuUUCk yo this is gonna be fuckin dOOoooOooOopE!" so they made a record, and it was called Take This To Your Grave. they made it without a drummer! and they had like three, four drummers come in. the four drummers they had come in were like, Josh Freese, Neil Peart, the dude from ToTo, and the fourth one was like someone from papa roach or something.
and they're like "yo we need Andy Hurley." "Andy Hurley, take this to your grave, fuckin record it." and he did it and he killed it and he was like "bigadigadulalala pSHHHH" killin the skins, tappin the skins, tappin the rim, playing the shit, killin these bitches, rApPiN iT oUt.
we should get signed to fueled by ramen, because they know what the fuck is going on. and they were like "yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin hard... we will sign you guys." and he was like "yO! this records gonna be fucking dope, dude!" and its called take this to your grave... its called from under the cork tree its gonna be fuckin huge
and then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album and its called- *BURP*... its called thnks fr th mmrs, twenty dollar nosebleed, and sugar we're going down." and they made this record that was fucking dope, and they fucking hit on the charts like "ONE, TWO, THREE, THREE TWO ONE, THRE FOUR FICE SIX SEVEN EIGHT NINE TENNNNN, TEN TO ONE!!!" From under the cork tree sold under like four million records... ten million records...! FIFTEEN MILLION RECORDS! and Brendon urie had nothing to do with the entire record. and Patrick was like "that's gOOOoooOooOoOOOOOOoooOoooD"

Pete was like "YO FUCK YOU, I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT" Joe was like "yeah that's cool man whatever I ain't gon do shit" and then Andy was like "eh... cool!" and Pete was like "makeup is fucking great for a guy. because it makes a guy look beautiful. which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure that everybody thinks guys are beautiful."
and then Pete was like "oh my god I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic!" and then I saw the dick pic and I was like "eh, its not bad. its not a bad dick. let's be real."
we made rolling stone one issue before fall out boy. and fall out boy made the issue right after us, and they were so pISSED, they were like "yo FUCK you guys" and they were like "YO, PANIC! HAS THE FUCKING COVER OF ROLLING STONE?"
Pete: "YO FUCK THESE DUDES, WE'RE GONNA GO FUKIN MiLeS ABOVE WE'RE GONNA HIT EVERY CONTINENT THERE IS KNOWN TO MAN." but they didn't. because they missed a fraction of a second of time, apparently. they were like "oh shoot we got every continent." but they didn't actually hit it.and Pete was like "yo wHAT THE FuCk?!!!?!11!!?" like, oh you didn't make the fucking continent, its like FUCK YOU!

so from under the cork tree happens, we have fuckin three, four years of awesomeness, like people are cumming on themsELVES cuz its so big.
alright. so fall out boy was like-so Patrick was like "yo we're gonna name these records from under the cork tree and infinity on high."
Pete was like "yo, Folie a deau means the theatric of two" *...the madness of two* OH sorry, I'm sorry.
fall out boy was like "we gotta take a break." meaning Pete was like "yo. we gotta take a break, bro." and Patrick's like "I need time for my music EEEeeEeEEerRrrrRrRrRR" and Joe was like "yo, I need time to find some fuckin art dude, I gotta find some mew.. metal"and Andy's like "I'm just gonna play with some fuckin metal bands." and they're like "alright" this break lasts like three years long, two years long... three and a half?
"we gotta fuckin come back, man and we gotta come back sTRONG. we gotta make this shit legit, it's gonna be fuckin dope, its gonna go sKy hIGh. we're gonna make a fukin record that sAiLs the skies. and we're gonna call this record save rock and roll." so they made Alone Together, Light Em Up, Alone Together, Phoenix.
and everybody's like "yo what the fuck, you're working with this guy who fukin recorded Avril lavigne and p!nk?"
and Pete was like "yo we're going to end up on tour with panic! at the disco and twenty one pilots."

and that's all. and that's all that matters. and that's just how the fucking story goes.

~~~~~~~~ *Centuries plays*

OKAY I HAD FUN WRITING THIS OUT HOLY SHIT IT TOOK FOREVER BUT IM DONE 😂😂😂😂💙💜❤️ ENJOY

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