It's Never Just Goodbye // Ed Sheeran

Multiply

Ed 

JUNE – TWO MONTHS LATER

I am drunk. Do I have a drinking problem? Alice had told me I do, but do I? The feeling that liquor gives me is better than my sober days, but this isn't a time where I get drunk to bury my sadness. In fact, it is the exact opposite.

I'm celebrating.

My album has been released at midnight and I'm relieved. It felt as if a burden has been lifted from my shoulders. Not necessarily a terrible burden, but the stress of getting it out there has since faded. After celebrating with a few close friends, I sit in my hotel room, and I wait.

I take a swig out of a bottle of white wine and click around on my laptop. The fans are raving on Twitter, but I anxiously wait for the reviews to come in from the magazines online. The record wasn't made for the critics, I find myself repeating over and over in my head.

Another drink of the alcohol and it begins going to my head. In the background, my album is playing. It felt insane hearing it blare over the speakers. The beat of the fourth track beats along to my heart.

I laughed meekly. Remembering so clearly the night that inspired this song. Another swig, and now I'm laughing.

"I love that holding hands with my friends means we're an item." I say aloud, mimicking the voice I pictured her saying it in no matter if it was said online. The release of the single of this song is what sparked the new found fame, and the anticipation for my new album amongst people who had never heard my first album. Another sip, I mumble, "Bitch."

Unscrewing the cap on another celebratory bottle of wine, this time red, I grab for my phone. I receive texts from my label, from Stuart, and from another few friends congratulating me. Impatiently, I stare at the screen of my phone and wait. Waiting for a specific person to text me, but it still hasn't come.

Throwing the phone beside me, I continue to listen to the album with pride. The feeling was profound, and I found myself feeling sort of lost now that this project was finished. It felt like I was sending my child off to college.

Finally, the album rolls over to the first track on the album. My phone vibrates against my leg, and I see that it is my mum.

"Hello?" I answer, trying not to show I'm drinking through my words. I was always drinking according to my mum, but she had a point. Only tonight I wasn't drinking out of sorrow.

"Eddie!" I hear her call, but her voice is echoed. I'm on speaker. My entire family is over the phone, and I hear my album being played on the old speakers my parents own. "Eddie, we're all here. Say hello!"

"Hi, guys." I say.

"We got your CD in the mail today, Ed!" She's screaming because she doesn't realize that I can hear her perfectly fine. My mum isn't adequate yet with cell phones.

My dad cuts in and says, "We decided to wait until midnight to hear it like everyone else!"

"Aw, you guys didn't have to do that."

"Eddie, we love the album. We're so proud of you!" Says mum. I couldn't help the smile growing on my face. Teasingly, she asks, "Who are these songs about anyway?"

"I don't write and tell." I joke. "You'll just have to make guesses."

"I can't believe Nina let you use her name!" My mum says, pleasantly surprised. She liked Nina, and she yelled at me when she found out we broke up. It was one those things I regretted even more once I told my mum.

"I know, mum. She loved it." I state. "I had her listen to it before putting it on there."

My dad says, "Did you have Stu contact her or what?"