It's Never Just Goodbye // Ed Sheeran

This Is Treacherous

Alice 

-twenty six weeks-

This slope is treacherous//

This path is reckless//

This slope is treacherous//

and I like it - Taylor Swift

With his lips pressed against mine, I felt like I couldn't breathe. Like somehow all the air on the entire Earth was sucked up with a huge vacuum. My lungs wouldn't work and the doors of the car were closing in. 

I pushed Oscar away and stared at him with a shocked filled expression. A mix of confusion and anger. Not hate towards him, but for me. Why would I feel the need to kiss him? 

I'm scared. The feeling of butterflies in my stomach, along with the baby kicking, makes my heart hurt. The tears well in my eyes and I just shake my head again and again and again. 

"I'm so sorry." I mutter against my hand. 

Oscar pushed back his hair with a sweaty palm, making the ends stick up. Making him look childish and goofy and I couldn't help but find him completely attractive. He lets out a sigh I could tell he had been holding in. 

When he finally turns back to me, his eyes are the same black ones he had in Australia when he yelled at me prefusley in the bathroom. I prayed he wouldn't scream at me now. He didn't. 

Instead, he slowly said, "Why did you do that?" 

"I-I'm sorry. Oscar, I didn't mean to." 

"You know how I feel about you and you still do this." he whispered. Yet, it seemed like he was talking to himself. 

I inched my hand to his and rested it there, on the steering wheel. There was nothing else for me to do. I had apologized enough. Saying sorry wouldn't solve everything. 

I tried again, though, "Oscar, please, I'm sorry." 

"Alice, why did you do that?" 

"I'm just confused, okay? I'm sorry. It was out of context and-" 

Suddenly, he started laughing. Giggling, chuckling, even. It scared me almost as much as my spur of the moment kiss. 

In one fast motion, he turned to me and placed either hand on my shoulders. With a bright smile, Oscar looked somewhat happy. Somewhat encouraged. Like he could do anything. I thought he was going to kiss me then, but he didn't.

Oscar says, "Alice, I love you! I've loved you since the time you spilled coffee all over me. You were never just my best friend, you were my British love. The love of my life with a beautiful accent and perfect green eyes - seriously, they're magical." he keeps going while I stay silent. "I don't know how you feel and I know you have your own love, the ginger...the chubby ginger which I find fascinating that he got you out of the bunch, but he did, and that's fine. I just-" 

"What are you trying to say?" I mumble numbly. 

"Alice, run away with me. I'll quit school; I don't give a shit about it anyway, and we'll grab our stuff and run away to some vacant town in the middle east, even America if you want, and live there. I'll raise the child as if it were my own. We'll get a dog and a huge white house and get married in a small chapel!" 

I couldn't speak. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't, well, I couldn't do anything. I'm ready to decline his offer almost right away, but I keep listening for some reason.