It's Never Just Goodbye // Ed Sheeran

Scottish Fluffy Haired Musical Creature

Ed

 Like that; we’re over. Three words and it’s done. No more worrying about her or where she is or whose she’s talking to. There’s no more impossible skype chats or late night phone calls when I just want to sleep. No more wasted money on plane tickets. I won’t have to fly home and see her. There isn’t any point to anymore.

No more laughs.

No more pictures.

No more freckles.

No more green eyes.

No more love.

And just like that, I’m missing her again. I hate to love her. I do. It’s just so heartbreaking every time this shit happens. It’s just horrendous to love her completely when I’m away or she’s being unbearable to deal with.

Then, there’s the baby. There will always be a baby that isn’t mine involved. He will forever be there, haunting me. Showing me that at one point, Alice cheated.

I couldn’t do it.

And what was so damn important that I needed to fly home right then? Ending an entire relationship over my career is complete bullshit.

Now, I may say it was a mutual agreement to just lay things out and move past them. Move past the fact that we don’t love each other. But! – but, she totally dumped me. I actually have a job to attend to and all of a sudden she’s bitchy and ending it over a simple phone call.

I’m so damn sorry I can’t just fly home anytime I want when I’m on tour.

Fuck her and her nonsense.

Who does she think she is declaring we’re through and not calling me for three months? Technically, she never even said it was over. For one; it never came from my mouth. She never called back to really say it was over.

I get it, okay? Alice told me that if I didn’t come to see her, it’d be over. I’m not quite sure yet if it was her speaking or someone feeding her lines. I just know; she’s said this type of shit before. And if I didn’t come or call back or whatever what did she do? Nothing.

She never did shit about it. We stayed together. What now? She gets pregnant and other people and her life and everything changes?

I guess people change. She sure did.

I think it’s better now. I’m awarded my own time to chill in my new flat, writing music for my new album, and to relax without impatient Alice nagging me.

After Taylor dismissed me from the RED tour, I’ll finally have time to distress.

I’m not brokenhearted completely. While the aftermath still stings like lemon juice in a cut, I’m not fully determined to make things right anymore. I’m over it. I’m over her.

At least, I should be over her by now. I went months without seeing her… Now can’t be so bad.

I’m fine.

I just need a distraction. Fuck distressing or relaxing or whatever gibberish I was speaking before.

I grab my phone off the glass table that laid in the middle of the spacious living room. Although I didn’t want anything too classy, Taylor insisted I at least buy this table and here it is.

With quick fingers, I dial my manager’s number. “Hello?” he said impatiently. The noise in the background splashed through the speaker of my phone and I held it away from my ear.

“Stuart, my man! What’s up, buddy?”

“What’s up?” I could see him now. Sipping wine and rolling his eyes. He’s the type to get quickly annoyed with me no matter how much he really loved me. “Ed, why are you calling?”