Chapter 41b

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"Luc!" I yelled after him.

He ignored me and continued to walk towards the bedroom door. My throat was closing up with each step he took. I crawled to the edge of the bed, still clutching my blanket and called after him, "Luc, wait - "

But he didn't even turn his head, not even to spare me a parting glance. He simply walked to the bedroom door, opened it and closed it quietly behind him. There was no temper tantrum, or yelling or even slamming of the door. He just left.

"Luc..." I whispered into the empty room, "Come back, please."

His footsteps drifted down the corridor, getting further and further away and the reality began to sink in. Oh god, he really was leaving me. He'd finally had enough of me. I wanted to run after him, to tell him I was sorry, and beg him to take me back. But then I looked over to the tapestry hanging on the wall, and I was painfully reminded of all the reasons why I couldn't.

I sunk down into the mattress, and drew my knees into my chest and started to cry. Burying my face into a pillow I sobbed, "Please, Luc - please come back. I can't do this without you..."

Lord knows how I wished to go after him, but I couldn't. If I did, then he'd want an explanation that I couldn't give him. There was no possible way of explaining what had happened without endangering us both. Miserably I conceded I'd have no other choice than to wait for him. So I'd just have to believe that by tomorrow morning, he'll have calmed down and would be thinking about coming to see me. 

I mean, he can't just abandon his pregnant wife ... could he?

I hugged my pillow closer, and shut my eyes. Silently I prayed to whichever God was listening, and asked for Luc to come back to me safe, unharmed, and in a forgiving mood. I opened my eyes and stared at the bedroom door, willing him to come back to me. I strained my ears for any footsteps that might be heading my way. I silently fanaticised that he'd come bursting through the door and take me in his arms, then kiss away all those terrible thoughts, of what my life might be like without him.

And so I watched the door, and watched.

Minutes soon dragged into an hour, and then a single hour turned into hours, yet there was still no sign of him. 

I'd hoped that he might return to the bedroom after he cooled off, but as more and more time passed I began to worry that he'd really meant what he'd said. Shit, what if he really meant what he'd said. It felt like my soul was aching for him. I wanted him so badly, it felt like I was in physical pain.

"Come on Mia, stop being so stupid. It's only been a couple of hours for crying out loud!" I snapped at myself.

I needed to pull it together! I flipped over onto my back and stared up at the ceiling. A thought flurried across my mind and I immediately thought 'no, I can't'. But no sooner had I dismissed it, it came scurrying back into my head and whispered 'open the door in your mind, and let him back in'.

"I can't." I snapped out loud.

'But he might never come back if you don't.'

Those words wrapped around my heart and squeezed tightly like a vice.

I couldn't do it. I couldn't risk opening myself up to him, and him seeing everything that could ruin us - but then without him my life was already ruined.

Against my better judgement I closed my eyes and imagined the room Henrietta had once showed me. The room which housed the door that represented the link between Luc and I ...the door which I'd shut to keep him out of my mind.

The room swirled in front of me, and I felt my very essence being pulled into the thought, until it felt like I was physically standing in the room staring at the closed door. I focused on the door handle and thought about turning it. Should I do it? Shouldn't I? If I opened the door then I could call him back to me, but then he might decide to search my mind instead, in which case he might discover what really happened in the bathroom.

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