Time to be honest here...
I have been avoiding my classmates since I left school... like plague.
I didn't want to seem like I was trying too hard... and y'know wanting to be in touch and all. I didn't want to seem like a despo.
And I am to be frank, I am a judgmental person and I think that's why I think everyone is judging me. I don't know why exactly I feel the need to be cool and all. But since I was young I found myself trying to be cooler than the popular crowd. And well, today I realized... I'll never be that. And I am cool the way I am. Because, that's me.
And by being subtle about wanting to hang out with people, I made them feel I was ignoring them.
I mean... HOW WEIRD IS THAT?!
I always used to think you people didn't want to hang with me... because, I was pretty lame.
Don't worry you peeps, I am a cool person on the internet.
Aren't I? Oh my lovely readers? Tell me I am... I shall owe you forever and ever.
Ahem, apart from the drama that I just did.
I realized that I am actually sort of pushing away the people I care about by trying so hard not to seem like I am trying too hard... Make sense?
Well, I don't know.
I am trying so hard to act like I am all this cool person and I don't care about what people think of me when I actually do.
See, that creates complications. It is the thing I have ranted about before, MISCOMMUNICATION.
And what's the worse that could happen.
People will call me a despo? They will think I am clingy? Or would not want to hang out with me.
But that would be like... clear.
And not like series of What Ifs? going on my mind.
Look, what happened today was I went to a function at my friend's place and met some of the school crowd that I thought were too cool for me.
And it turned out they believed I thought MYSELF to be TOO COOL TO HANGOUT WITH THEM!
Oh, the IRONY!
Moral of the story? If you wanna hangout with people you find cool. Or stay in touch with a group of old friends. DO IT! Don't wait for them to make the first move. They might be waiting for you to make the first move, too. The worst that could happen is they wouldn't want to hangout with you. And no, you won't be the joke of the town because of that. Don't do the mind-reading thing. Where you do the thinking and analysing for them and make yourself the worst person ever in their brains. Just stop. You might think that they are thinking all these weird things about you. But in the end, they might just be too busy to even be bothered with you.
In conclusion, go for it!
I can't believe I wrote that. I am an introvert at heart. But I needed to put it out there.
So, be happy. Don't let nice people get away from you because you're shy. Let's face it... In reality, no one will bother to befriend you if you don't make a little effort yourself. IT'S A TWO-WAY STREET!
All my love,
Arshi.
Peace!
