The Anatomy of Our Almosts

Perfectly Fitted Puzzle Pieces

I am never particularly proud of anything that I was able to accomplish with the years I spent in the entertainment industry. Even with countless awards and recognition for a gold, diamond and double platinum records for three of my albums. Because I know in the eyes of my mother, I am still the black sheep who let Yale go for a stint in showbiz.

All cards on the table, I had established a good name and reputation in the business for seven years, I paved, toiled and gave everything I can to stay in the scene, not only for my passion, art and craft, not only because there's a good number of people I was able to inspire, but also because I was yearning for my mother's approval. It has always been a my subtle dream for her to watch any of my shows in person, but the only show she watched without much persuasion from me and my dad was my birthday concert back in my 5th year in the industry.

So the hug we shared last night was the greatest accomplishment I was able to acquire. At long last, at least even without words, without explanations and persuasions, there was an action. A simple and salient act that she has finally accepted my series of wrong decisions and failures as a model daughter.

Finally I was only a daughter in my mother's arms.

"Nay?" I called out to her, it's only six in the morning, dad is still sleeping in the guest room, while me and my mom was having coffee by the veranda.

"Cha. Bakit?" She asked looking far to the skyline of my 21st floor unit.

"Did I just earn acceptance?" I directly asked, ngayon ko lang nagawang itanong sa kanya ito mula kagabi.

"Alam kong pagod ka ng magpaliwanag, at mamilit kung sino at ano ka talaga Cha, ako lang tong hindi pa din makapaniwala at ayaw maniwala na sadyang tumatanda ka na at alam mo na kung anong makakabuti at hindi para sayo."

"I'm sorry nay, pero ganito talaga ako." I sighed

"Sorry din Cha, sa lahat ng nagawa namin ng ate mo. Hindi lang sayo pero pati kay Rhian, ang toto niyan nung nalaman kong bumalik si Rhian ng dahil sayo, bigla akong nahiya sa sarili ko, all this time tinuturuan kita kung ano ang tamang pagmamahal, pero nakalimutan kong hindi pala naituturo yun ng salita. Sana mapagbigyan pa natin ang ating mga sariling makabawi sa isa't isa."

"Oo nay, Salamat. Feeling ko ngayon, mas magiging okay na yung lahat ng bagay sa buhay ko. Parang lahat perfect fit na." I can't help but tear up again, it felt surreal, to hear my mom talking to me like this, tender and motherly. Away from the tyrant and commanding tone she's long used with our conversations in the past.

"One thing, I want from you."

"Anything."

"Take Rhian to the house, introduce her to all of us." She said nonchalantly before breaking into a small smile, and I was only able to nod in response not trusting my own voice.

That morning I hugged my mother again, and it felt even better than the night before.

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I was never a fan of board games, but Glaiza has a thing for puzzles back when we're in college. She loves putting them together, but she would always lose a piece, that'll berserk her while Chynna, Sheena and me shook our heads and laugh.

It was the way she didn't basically finish any puzzle set she bought, and yet she tried so hard to do so. She would always try and fit them together, no matter how difficult it can be. It's one of the many things that sets her apart from any other person I know. She's not the easily intimidated, she's not the easily shaken, because once she set her mind on a goal she's going to do whatever it takes to achieve it.