A World Where Roses Bloom || Camren

Chapter XV, The Seconds.

Half of the things Lauren said to Camila weren't even meant to be said.

On one hand, she regrets saying that Camila was a shitty roommate because for all Lauren knows, the brunette is way better than the last one she had. Camila has always been caring, she is always looking out for her, always giving her kind smiles when she passes by and Camila is always making Lauren feel like home. Even when Dinah exists, Camila wins by far the prize at the best roommate and that says a lot.

On the other hand, Lauren is still hurt because Camila introduced her to Emily as her roommate. Lauren is not a liar, so she can't deny the fact that it sucked being in that situation, mostly because she thought that with Camila they were more than just roommates but Camila doesn't seem to think the same thing. But even though Lauren is still pissed at the brown-eyed girl, she is big enough to recognize that the way she spoke to her that night was not the best. Lauren doesn't regret saying that part but the way she said those words it is what she would have liked to change.

There is not looking back now; her venomous words were spoken out of spite, she was enraged and her hot temper got the best of her but Lauren is not used to acting that way at all. The only person that has ever made her feel vulnerable with just one look, leaving her feelings out in the open, has the capability of unfolding her worst feelings too.

Camila has the upper hand, and Lauren doesn't like it at all because with Camila feeling is easy, and she just realized now that that could be a bad thing too.

Two days later, Lauren is still thinking about the fight she had with Camila, but the difference now is that guilt is starting to settle in in her heart, which means that she feels the need to apologize. Even when Lauren still feels hurt and it is still hard to look at her roommate in the eyes, no one deserves to be treated the way she treated Camila, especially her, who up until this point has been nothing but a ray of sunshine for the past weeks to her.

Although there is a war inside of her mind, out of all the things Lauren said that night, what she regrets the most is that with her outburst, she gave Camila the chance of running away from her to Emily's arms. Lauren feels like she lost a battle that she didn't even get to fight in the first place. Way to go, Lauren.

She would really like to think that what she feels for Camila is still a silly little crush, but her heart tells her otherwise, it tells her that is something much deeper than that and that it has been that way for a while. She really fell for Camila, and she can't seem to get her out of her head.

The morning after their fight, she woke up with puffy, red and tired eyes, due to the fact that she barely slept that night. Lauren cried herself to sleep for the first time in her life thinking about all the things that went wrong.

Two days later, she still has no idea what happened.

For the past 48 hours, Lauren has been finding herself safe in the solitude of her room. The few times that she is out of her bedroom, it is because she has to go to the bathroom or to eat something, but every time she does it, she makes sure that Camila is not around.

Since Lauren knows that she will have to deal with Camila eventually, she decides one morning that she's done with whatever she's doing.

Sure, she still feels mad because Camila chose Emily over her (she's not dumb, if Camila would've told Emily to back off, things would be completely different in that moment,) but Lauren doesn't feel that good knowing that they are fighting. She doesn't like feeling uncomfortable in her own home or having to rush her way back to her room just to not see Camila. Plus, Lauren is done avoiding her, especially the times when she is hungry as hell and needs to go to the kitchen to grab something to eat.