How I Lost You ;; Seungkwan [ON HOLD]

v. 파입

{ c h a e m i }
Excitement
—; How I felt preparing for our "date"

"Even though slight disappointment creeps in,
I still engulfed the excitement in it,
As for I still felt lucky to have you,
In this once sorrowful life I had."

;;

This date could change our friendship.

But for now, I am going to live for this moment. Not caring about anything else.

And when I saw him approaching towards me, I swear my heart was beating so fast.

He looked really handsome.

Seungkwan approached wearing his signature smile. "Hey Chaemi, are you ready to go now?"

And then he offered me his hands like a man would do.

And of course, I gladly accepted it.

It felt like as if we were going to an adventurous journey and he was always there by my side. I felt protected with his touch.

But then our eyes met.

I became a messy puddle.

You looked to your sides and pretended to look for a good ice cream shop. You were somehow avoiding my gaze. We walked across the street and you held my hand. Omg.
I noticed that your palms were sweating, but I didn't really take it as a big deal. I gladly accepted your hand and we crossed the street together.

We reached our destination but you were still holding on. It was awkward to be honest. I guess he realized it and let go of my hand. We were both looking at the opposite direction, obviously avoiding each other's contact.

"Aren't we going inside?" I tried to ask naturally but it still came out awkward as heck.

He looked at me, still avoiding my gaze, "o-oh yea of course hehe..." Well. He sounds awkward too, so.

This is the very first time we've felt uneasy with each other. Since Seungkwan was always the giddy and happy one, this meeting became awkward because we were not acting like how we  usually do.

We went inside the ice cream shop and picked our favorites. But the guy in the counter was like checking me out. I didn't know if he was checking me out or he was just joking around but anyways my heart belongs to someone already.

I paid the guy in the counter. But then I realized that I was short by few coins. Why should this happen? It felt embarrassing. But anyways the guy in the counter named Dokyeom just shrugged it off and told me it was okay. He was too kind. I told him a lot of thank yous and bowed at him. He was really kind to do that.

Going back to our table, where Seungkwan was waiting, for some reasons, he looked kinda grumpy. I gave him his favorite ice cream. He took it without even saying a word. What's up with him?

I didn't know that it was because he was jealous of the guy.

Dear Seungkwan,
          Do you still remember everything we did that day? Every adventure we took? Every food we ate? If you do, then I didn't. You were too distracting that it was more on watching you than anything else. Being with you itself made me so happy already. Do you feel the same for me?

I guess I'll never know

;;