King of the Fall

Chapter 25

(Abel) (A year later)

"On the anniversary of the death of someone very dear to my heart, I'd like to say: I loved you. I love you. I will always love you. Till I die, you will be the most cherished person in my heart. Everything you meant to me if something I can never ignore. You were a guide, when I was lost. You were a muse for all the success. You were a light in the darkness, a lantern in the smoke. You continue to inspire the me, and will until I die. I will continue to grow but I will never grow out of your memories. For all the time that I knew you, it seems like the most briefest of moments. We could have had so much more together but we lost you too soon, I lost you too soon. I love you, not because I knew you as more than a random person, but because you were my inspiration to keep living and never look back. And..."

(Elize) (A year ago)

"Do you not think this apartment is too big?" He asked me. His eyes were widened and I just wanted to giggle but I controlled myself.

"It's just as big as mine, Abel. What's so big about it?"

"All my stuff is here and it's practically empty?"

"When are you in your apartment anyway? You're always in one hotel or on the jet or with me."

"Well, this is pathetic."

"I agree. I'll help you pick out the furniture. We'll get through this rough time."

"Haha," he muttered. "When are you going to do this? After or before your treatment?"

"During the treatment, perhaps," I joked.

He rolled his eyes at me. "Can you be serious about this, Elize? I know that I talked you into this but you need to understand what you're getting yourself into."

"I know what I got myself into, Abel," I lied. "Stop Worrying."

Actually, I was the one that needed to stop worrying. I was stuck in this maze of going back and forth between accepting that I was going to die (which was okay with me but no one else) and just getting the damn treatment and waiting it out.

Here's the worst part, the treatment can only be deemed successful or otherwise within a month of the treatment, which means, if I were by any miracle feeling better, it would grasping at straws because the results would still come back negative. It hurt... a lot, actually, but I tried not to tell Abel because I didn't want him to worry. It was a stupid thing to do but I didn't feel to guilty about it.

What I felt was nervous because I was stuck wondering if I would get better, the moment I started hoping, my hopes could be dashed and I could be spending the next five months helping my mom and Abel write a Eulogy and drowning in self pity and depression waiting for this tumor to eat me up, from the inside out.

(Abel) (A month later)

Sitting in the doctor's office, with Mrs. Cross, was the most nerve wracking thing I'd ever done. While we were sitting there, waiting to be visited by the Doctor, I was sweating profusely. We'd been waiting for over an hour. If it was bad news, they should've just come in, ripped the band aid and left. It would've been better than to make us wait.

But the more we waited, the more sure I became of the fact that I was losing her. That within the next few months, every visit of mine could turn into the last time I'd see her. She didn't really need to care because after she was gone, I'd be the only one left.

There absolutely no upside to this and the more people asked about our relationship, the more I wanted to ask them if they could save the woman I so dearly loved. I'd accepted that I was in love with her a while ago but man, continuously knowing that I could lose her was the real slap in the face. I could never not choose the damaged ones.

This was the one damaged one that I really wished I didn't have to let go of.

(Elize) (Three days into the treatment)

I barely remembered anything. I mean, I barely remembered how to breathe or what my name was. To numb the pain that the treatment caused, they used Fentanyl and hurt like hell for a while but then everything just blurred out and I just lost my senses. They'd told me that the first month would be like that and then the second month, if it worked, would get more bearable and I wouldn't need it much. Slowly, they'd work me off of it and that worked just great for me.

The few hours that I would stay awake in this blur, I noticed a few very familiar movements, faces and people but I could barely recover enough to remember them before I fell back asleep and into the void that I couldn't remember wanting to be in. It was terrible.

I missed Abel the most. I was sure that he must've been visiting me, so were Mom and Felicity. But I couldn't remember things long enough for that sort of a recognition. It was all pretty fucked up and I wasn't sure if I wanted to come out of it, if it wasn't going to work.

(Abel) (A year later)

"And, you've been here for me, even after you've left. As I take on the responsibilities that you left behind, Dad, I hope that I can even half as good a job as you did. I thank you for everything that you've ever done and for the love and blessings that you've left behind. I'm sure you're here with me. Because, I've kept you a part of my heart and soul and you're the best dad a person could hope for. Thank you, daddy. I love you and I miss you."

She did look stronger and wiser and she definitely made me proud. Elize had actually managed to survive everything that had happened to her in the past year and not hate the world for it. She'd taken away the best and left the worst of it behind. Strangely, she didn't consider me a part of the worst. Her recovery had been painful. After three months of chemo and then another month of waiting before the surgery and recovering from the surgery, her sudden pains at night... I remembered that nightmare and I guessed that taking a break would've been good but she didn't let me. "It's the just the starting point of an amazing career. You can't lose out" was her favorite line. Stupid girl.

"Can you feed me? I'm dying of starvation," she groaned in my ear. I looked up and she was smiling at me. Today around 6'1 with those high ass heels, her arms were around me and I didn't mind it at all. Fuck, she was the best thing I'd ever wanted.

"Can you not use that term?"

"Starvation?" "No. Dying. Stop it. Okay?"

"Alright."

I had just one more question to ask her. But I had terrible feeling that it wouldn't work out. We'd both be extremely busy now, wouldn't it be fucked up... wouldn't I miss her being home whenever I came home. I could never ask that of her though. But I didn't want a traditional girl, either.

So, despite it all being fucked up and I was sure she knew it too, I hoped and prayed that Elize would say, I do.

xx

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