Love is a Dangerous Game

Anxiety and Admittance

Jess started heading down the large hall, feeling dizzy. She had her phone in hand and kept getting confused with each thought she had. Did he like her? Did he hate her? She sure didn't know. After what Arin said, Jess started doubting every move that Dan made. She needed some air. Jess' breathing patterns got out of whack, and she was now hyperventilating. Luckily, Mark was nearby and ran to her. He put a hand on her back. Jess was clutching her forehead and some of her hair tightly, still searching for the normal pattern. Mark's voice seemed so far away and she was so blinded by the anxiety attack she was witnessing. Her heart was beating at rapid speeds as she slowly descended onto her knees, trying to curl into a ball. Mark rubbed her back softly and descended with her. He held her close and tried to calm her down. People started staring at them. He picked her up gently and carried her to her room. Mark grabbed the key from her hand and opened the room, setting her on the bed and trying his best to comfort her.

"Shh.... Jess it's okay...." he said gently, trying to stay calm. Jess was trembling now and hugging Mark for helping her. She couldn't speak even if she wanted to. Mark hugged her back. "I get anxiety attacks too... " he sympathized. Mark didn't get them a lot anymore, but he knew how they used to feel and those were a mini-hell that people had to deal with. They were scary because they were unpredictable and went away when they wanted to. "Who caused it...?" he asked. Jess looked at her hands and pretended to be talking to someone on the phone, while using her other hand to put some of her hair to make it look wider. "Danny..?" he answered, but wondering how he would have caused it. Jess then unlocked her phone to show a picture of Nick. "He called him..?" Mark added. She nodded.

"Crush." she said softly, like she lost her voice and was trying to get it back. Her eyes started tearing up. She was so confused. She didn't know what to do.

Mark's face gained sadness. Jess lifted his chin to meet her eyes. "Off and on.... it's complicated..." she then averted her eyes to look at her shoes. Her gaze lifted to the chair. Jess pointed to the chair. "Let me explain.." she said, Mark getting up and sitting in the chair. Jess laid down, getting comfortable enough to say the situation.

"Alright. So, Nick, that's the guy I showed you.. I met him in my Freshman year of high school. I had him in 5 of my classes, and in three of them we sat near each other or were in a group together." She started off, pulling a blanket up to cover her legs. "One of my friends, Eva, she dated him for about a week before I met him. When they broke up, I tried to comfort Eva because I didn't know the entire situation at the time. She stayed away from the situation entirely, and I noticed that he started ignoring her. I tried to get to know him, see exactly why.. When he ended the first conversation I had with him, that's the time I started liking him... He ended it off with, 'I really care about you'." She looked down at the sheets. "Then, we started getting a bit closer. Fallout 4 came out and we started playing it together. He told me he still liked Eva." A frown creeped up on her face. Mark seemed to roll his eyes slightly, laying his chin in the palm of his hand. "I didn't know how to deal with it, and at the time it didn't seem like he liked me.." Jess turned her head to a mirror. "I can see why, since nobody likes me or will ever like me." her tone seemed to downgrade from explaining to self-disgrace. "He probably just called me to say he loved me as a joke.. I've never even had a relationship.." Jess pulled the blanket to her face to wipe tears that started to fall. "I don't think I'll ever get one.. So do you know what I'm trying to do...?" She looked Mark in the eyes, and he looked back. Jess sensed that he liked her, and... she didn't know if she felt the same way back.

"I'm trying not to like anyone..." her voice seemed serious, normal. "....but people just keep coming along...." it started to strain to sound normal, tears wanting to flow out. "....a-and I just can't help myself.... you know..?" Her face seemed ashamed. "I always chase something I can't get, and it's so dumb because whoever I like will never like me back..." Jess knew now, the more she thought it all over, the more she realized who she loved. "Except you." she whispered to herself softly. Jess wiped her face once more and pushed the blanket off of her.

Mark didn't know what she was doing. "That's not true, there are people who will like you back." he said, not knowing what she said at the end. He closed his eyes to say exactly what he was thinking. "I bet someone is out there that likes you ba-" he was cut off by a pair of lips that closed his. He opened his eyes to see she was kissing him, as she soon pulled away, looking him in the eyes. A soft pink blush crept its way up onto Mark's face. Jess smiled gently.

"Except you." she giggled softly and ruffled his hair. "Now, I think you have a panel in a few minutes, am I correct, Mr. Fischbach?" Jess asked, poking his chest when she addressed him in the formal manner.

"Y-you are correct..." he nodded, gulping as he tried to comprehend what was going to happen. She looked him in the eyes with a soft and eager look.

"I'll be in the audience, cheering you on." Jess stated, smiling.

Mark got up and walked out of the room, until.. "Oh, and one more thing?" Jess asked as he was in the doorframe.

"Hm..?" he asked.

"What happens in this room, stays in this room.. okay?" she asked, grabbing her key and her phone to follow him out.

Mark nodded, rushing to the elevator so he wouldn't get bombarded with fans or cameras as he left her room. She watched him enter the elevator and she laughed.

Never in her life would she have thought to have feelings for a pink-haired nerd.