roommates • lashton

4.0

l u k e

I pursed my lips and furrowed my eyebrows as I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I ran a hand through my hair and scrunched my face up before sighing and looked away from myself.

I had barely slept last night because my mind was occupied with how I was supposed to explain my feelings to Ashton. How was I supposed to explain the feelings of affection and love to to someone who didn't know?

What if I explained my feelings to Ashton and he realized he felt nothing like that. It would probably ruin this whole thing and I'm not sure if I was ready for that.

Though, Ashton and I will never work out anyway, so maybe it was better to ruin everything and leave each other with nothing than to leave each other with everything.

Who knew a simple soccer camp could grow so fucking complicated and demanding on your feelings?

I had no more time to bury myself in my thoughts as Ashton entered the bathroom with his eyes frantically searching the room.

"Have you seen my meds?" he asked as he stood next to me and searched the messy sink for his pills.

"No. You had them here last night" I spoke and watched him as he searched the shelves with shaky hands. "Are you alright?" I asked and frowned at how he was shaking.

"Yeah, I just need to take my medication" he said and sighed out in relief when he found what he was looking for.

"You sure?" I asked, just to know he was completely okay. He looked up at me and smiled before nodding his head.

"I'm fine, baby," he said and gave me an assuring smile, "I'm just happy and excited to finally see my mom again"

His answer made me smile small at him. I had never really seen him happy while actually admitting that he was. Seeing him like this was nice, and it made me happy as well.

"That's nice" I said softly and watched Ashton throw two pills into his mouth and wash them down with water. Ashton lifted his head and smiled at me before walking closer to wrap his arms around my waist.

"Yeah" Ashton mumbled and hooked his chin over my shoulder, embracing me in a warm hug. "Do you still promise to not hate me after this?" he whispered against my neck as his lips were softly pressed against it.

"I don't see how this would make me hate you" I whispered back and wrapped my own arms around him as well.

"Don't speak too soon" Ashton mumbled, making me shake my head.

"You've done and said a whole lot of shitty things towards me, but here I am and I'm far away from hating you. I don't think whatever you and your mom's been through will make me hate you" I whispered back and Ashton's arms around me tightened.

"I owe you so many apologies for what I've done to you in the past" Ashton said quietly, making me breathe out a soft chuckle.

"No, I'm serious, Luke" Ashton spoke and pulled away from the embrace to look at me sincerely. "What I did to you was fucking awful, and I still don't understand how you let me keep it up when what you did was nothing compared to what I did. And what I said to you was fucking sick, and I'll never forgive myself for it"