roommates • lashton

4.1

a s h t o n

I woke up to an empty bed and sighed when seeing Luke's bed being empty as well. I sighed and looked up at the ceiling while running my hands over my face.

Yesterday was brought back to me and I closed my eyes shut at the memories. A pressure what pressed against my chest and I bit my tongue when knowing I had fucked up big time.

My head hurt as I rubbed my eyes with the knuckles on my fingers. I slowly sat up in the bed and looked around in the room before eying the closed bathroom door. I clenched my jaw harshly and licked my lips before climbing out of the bed.

I messily put on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt - that was probably Luke's - before walking over to the closed bathroom door. I raised my hand and clenched it to form a fist before getting ready to knock.

But before my fist had time to meet the door, it opened and showed Luke fully dressed in soccer gear. I eyed him up and down, frowning at his messy hair and tired eyes.

"Um, good morning" I spoke quietly and gave Luke a small smile. He bit his lip and nodded his head.

"Good morning" he mumbled and studied my face before walking past me.

"Where are you going?" I asked and turned around to watch him grab his shoes.

"Practice" he answered as he sat down on his bed and put on his shoes. His eyes didn't meet mine and I scratched my neck awkwardly as I watched him.

"Why? Practice doesn't start until like an hour" I spoke and slowly walked closer to him. As I sat down next to him on his bed, he stood up, making me sigh.

"I wanted to get there early to get some time to myself. The game's tomorrow and I need to get my mind on it" Luke mumbled and put on the uniform sweatshirt, his last name being printed on the back with white bold letters.

"Okay," I spoke and nodded my head as I sighed lightly again, "Yeah"

"So, bye. I'll see you later I guess-"

"Luke" I started and stood up from the bed to look at him with pursed lips. He sighed and turned around to meet my gaze, looking at me with tired eyes. The look he gave me told me to drop it, but I saw no success in doing that.

"Don't be mad at me, please" I said softly and stepped closer to him. Luke chuckled - obviously fake - and shook his head when looking at me.

"I'm not mad" Luke said as honestly as possible, before turning around again to leave. I sighed at his stubborn behavior.

"It seems to me that you are" I said, making Luke turn around once again to smile tightly at me.

"I'm not mad, Ashton. Why would I be mad?" he asked and shrugged his shoulders carelessly.

"Well," I said and bit my bottom lip when not really knowing how to put it. Luke chuckled once again and gave me a pitiful look, making me furrow my eyebrows.

"I'm not mad, Ashton. It's fine, okay? You don't love me, so what? I can't be in charge of your feelings," Luke said and shrugged once again, "It's not like I'm gonna go and cry about it"

"Luke," I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, "That's not how it is; I just didn't want to say anything I wasn't completely sure about, or ready to say. Just because I didn't say it back doesn't mean I don't like you. I just thought it was better to be honest than to lie"