Rupture // h.s au

44. "We have to try."

Autumn

I watched as his eyebrows furrowed and released, like his mind was struggling to grasp the concept that he could easily lose his mother too. His figure trembled, as he continued to hold her hand, staring at her through the eyes that were filling with tears. He didn't cry though, and it made me wonder if he had managed to process it all. If it had settled in, that his mother, could quite possibly leave him soon. Leave us all.

I felt tears forming behind my eyelids, choked breaths escaping me, as I watched him. I had known something was wrong when she lost her balance and fell on her way to the bathroom. When her hands trembled as she looked through the drawer for something to wear. When she gasped, in an attempt to inhale any air. She had looked tired, through her persistent care for me, but it was all a blur in my head, that every time I attempted to concentrate upon the paleness of her skin, I would slip into unconsciousness before I had time to do anything about it. I had known the symptoms. I had seen that disease take away many people, when they were too poor to afford the treatment, or too insignificant. I, myself, had suffered from it, but being in the position that I had been in, I was immediately treated and healed. Anne wasn't that fortunate. And once again, I was reminded of the brutality and the lack of care of the world. It didn't care that she was a good woman, a kind soul. It didn't care that she was the only parent left for Harry, who'd lost too many people in his life, to make it through her loss too. It didn't care that it felt like I was losing my mother all over again, only in a slower, more painful, yet, just as haunting kind of way. It didn't care, and I couldn't make it. After all, the world had ended, and that was what had come out of it. War. Death. Chaos. Rupture. And, disease.

Persistent knocking on the door, brought me back from my trance, grasping my fading attention. I weakly opened the door, revealing a distressed Louis, accompanied by Rick, who continued to be contained and composed.

" Is Harry here? Or Anne?"

" Yeah. Yeah, they're both here."

" Oh thank God." Louis breathed, immediately walking into the suffocating room. He was determined at first, rushed, but then, his eyes fell onto the scenery ahead, and a gut wrenching sensation took over him. He could see that something was terribly wrong. And he didn't know what to do about it.

" What is wrong with her? Is she okay?" Rick questioned, and it took a lot out of me, to look away from Harry to meet his concerned eyes.

" I don't think so. I- I know those symptoms, it's- maybe you should check up on her. I could be wrong. God, I hope I'm wrong." My voice broke, but I willed myself to keep it together. I had no right grieving her, when I had done so much damage to her and her family. I had no right crying over her, when I had caused her to cry, and him too. I had no place being here, and the sense of belonging that I once felt amongst those people, slowly faded away, along with the healthy color of her skin, and the sparkle of her eyes.

Louis stood by me, as Rick profusely examined Anne. Over and over again, as if the repetition would somehow, alter the outcome. A depressed aura had settled in the atmosphere, as the most composed of us all, began to reveal signs of desperation.

" This- this can't be. There has to be something wrong, some other explanation. This can't be it." Rick whispered, leaning down to look for any hidden signs that would contradict the unsettling results. There weren't any. Harry's head fell against the bed, his hands never once departing Anne's. I felt the overwhelming urge to cry, but I didn't allow myself to.

" Wh- what does that mean? What's going to happen now? I don't understand anything." Louis spoke, his voice portraying the emotions that we were all feeling, but were too numb to reveal.

" Anne is extremely ill, Louis. And we don't have the supplies to help her in any way. We can't do anything."

" What the fuck? No, Rick. There has to be something we can do, something we can get. We can go now, if we need to. Just tell me what you need to make her better."

" We can't, Louis. We can't. This isn't the first case we've had. This is a rare disease but we've lost people to it before. We simply don't have the cure, and we can't get it. We can't even begin to search for it, because then it'd be... it'd be too late. The progression is too fast, and she's already too weak."

" So we're just giving up? Fucking hell, Rick, this is Anne, we're talking about. Anne. She's Harry's mother. She's ours as well. She's what keeps this fucking camp together. We can't just give up. The least we can do is try. We owe her that much at least. We owe her better than this."

" I know. I know she deserves better. I know this is unfair. But you have to understand, there's nothing in our hands. We can't help her. We can't help anyone in her condition."

" I don't believe this. I can't fucking believe it." Louis ran both hands through his hair, before he turned to face Rick again, attempting to cling to decaying straws. He yelled, and so did Rick, and Harry just sat there, unmoving, unresponsive. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if I was meant to do anything at all.

" Stop! Just.. just fucking stop." Harry suddenly roared, his voice strained, exhausted. Louis and Rick stopped their useless argument, turning their heads to take Harry in. He squeezed his eyes shut in visible pain, shaking his head weakly.

" I- I need it all to just... stop. This isn't helping. Nothing is helping. I can't believe this is happening. I can't- I can't." He rubbed his eyes, simply staying there, with his eyes shielded from the world, and his head leaning against his palms.

" I- I know what we need to do. I know where to find the cure. I don't know if it'll work, I don't even know if it's going to still be there, but I- I want to help." Their now widened eyes met my own, except for Harry's, who looked away, as if trying to regain his composure, before focusing on me, or else, he's completely shatter and break.

" What do you mean? How can you help?" Rick questioned.

" I- I was sick with this before. I can get to the storage place where they keep this specific medicine, because they don't keep it with the rest of our supply. I can get in and out in a few hours, and get her what she needs."

" They know how you look. If you walk in there, you'll never make it out." Louis noted, eyebrows furrowed in unfamiliar seriousness.

" I can take care of myself. I can do this." I nodded, although, I didn't know if it was to reassure myself, or them.

" You're not even fully recovered yet. It's too dangerous." Rick sighed, looking down upon Anne, wincing, before meeting my eyes again.

" We have to at least try. If I manage to get it, then it'll all be worth it. If not, then- then, I don't know. At least we've done all we can."

" She's right. We have to try." Harry spoke, an edge to his once shaken voice. " But I'll go in with her."

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A/N: I miss the boys already and I'm sad so I decided to share this with you guys.

Let me know what you think, and if you comment A LOT of times, I'll privately message you a sneak peak to the next chapter, how does that sound? :)

Comments make me very happy and it makes me feel closer to you guys so please?

ily x