Rupture // h.s au

45. "Say your goodbyes."

Autumn

He was walking beside me, eyes firm, like images of a barely surviving Anne weren't imprinted behind them. Posture proud, like every single organ within him wasn't breaking. Features discrete, like he wasn't fighting the urge to scream. I was once again at awe, as I took in his utter strength. I would have expected him to shatter, to scream, and cry, and maybe lay down, and just give up. But he always found a reason to keep fighting. He always found a spark of strength within him, even if everything around him was weakening. He always found some sort of light, through all the darkness setting down on the world. And if he couldn't, then he became that. And it was beautiful. He was so beautiful. I wished I had met him earlier. I wished I could have been anywhere close to how good he was. But I couldn't.

I didn't know he had stopped walking until I slightly bumped into his back, quickly distancing myself, not wanting to push his barely set limits. He didn't look at me at all, his eyes falling onto Raine's house.

" Liam is in there. You should tell him you're leaving. Say your goodbyes. Or don't. I don't know."

" Wh- what? Why would you care to bring me here?"

" You need to know you have something to come back to. I thought the closest thing to that, would be Liam. Because we have to come back. I- I have to come back, for her. And she needs to get better. Do you understand?"

He looked into my eyes, and I saw all that was roaming behind them. Fear. Desperation. Grief. And barely a glimpse of care. I couldn't help but think that if I were to come back, he'd be my reason to. Not even Liam. And that thought, scared me. It also comforted me. Because I could finally feel all of that for a single person, and that person, had to be Harry. The most human, human being I had ever met.

I felt the undeniable urge to hug him. Just hold him, and apologize for all that the world had brought upon him. And thank him, for maintaining to be human, in the most inhuman version of the world we'd ever had to endure. But I didn't. I nodded silently, walking away from him and knocking. Niall answered the door, eyes widening briefly, before Raine came running into my arms. I bent down to my knees to properly embrace her. I breathed in, absorbing her child-like scent.

" I'm so glad you're back. It got lonely around here." She whispered, before pulling away, with only half a smile. I returned it anyway, patting her head.

" Go say hi to Harry, will you? And give him a big hug for me. He needs it." She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, but even through her innocent mind, she knew better than to question me. I didn't have to turn to know that Harry had held her close to him, for a bit longer than he usually would have.

" Are you okay?" Niall questioned, speaking to me humanly, for the first time in a very long time.

" Wow, no smartass comment, or evil plot speculation? I'm surprised." I put a hand to my chest in mock shock, as he rolled his eyes.

" Who am I kidding, you're just fine." He chuckled slightly, before Liam appeared, interrupting our almost-normal interaction. Niall patted his back, before disappearing into the house, probably to attend to Raine's still-not-fully-recovered father.

" What are you doing here? Is everything-"

I pulled him into my arms, holding him to me, in fear of him too, slipping away. Or maybe me. I allowed myself to take him in, through all my senses. For the longest time, I had been afraid to hold him, because I didn't want to ruin him too, to hurt him, in any way. But now, I just wanted to hold him, because it felt like it might have been the last time I'd ever be able to. And he deserved to know that even when I was unable to feel much, I still felt for him. He deserved to know that I would have done anything for him to not turn into me, and I was so grateful, and so proud, because he was so much better than anything I would have expected him to turn into.

" I love you. I need you to know that, Liam. You do, don't you? You know that?" I pulled away, taking his face in my hands, wishing I didn't have to let go so soon.

" I- I do, yeah. What's going on, Autumn?"

" God, I've done so much shit before, Liam. So much shit. I brought so much pain into this world, when it was already too messed up. And I'm- I'm so sorry. I wish I could take it all back. All of it."

" You're scaring me, Autumn. Are you okay?"

" I'm fine. I'm alright. Don't worry." I took him into another embrace, kissing each of his cheeks.

" I'm going on a mission with Harry. His mother is sick and we need to help her. I don't know what will happen, but I need you to promise me, that you won't let Griffin do to them what he'd done to me- to us. Harry is a good man. Hell, he's a great fucking man, and he leads a great camp.  They don't deserve any of that. So please. Promise me, Liam."

" Wh- why are you talking like you're not coming back? Why does this feel like another goodbye? Where are you going, Autumn? Let me help. I can help."

" I have to go now. I love you. Remember that." I took his hand in mine, giving it one final squeeze, as I willed myself to walk away, feeling my heart aching against my chest. But I knew I had to do this, and looking at Harry, who was still holding onto Raine for dear life, I knew there was no other choice. Whether I came back or not, it didn't matter. But he had to come back, with the cure for his mother. He had to save her, even if he couldn't save me.

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A/N: Hey guys!

So, I've been thinking about how to end this story, and I'm not quite sure yet, so please, let me know what you'd like to see happen, give me thoughts, ideas, or suggestions, it's all welcomed and appreciated :)

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, till next time.

ily x