Twilight Rays

1. Windows just seem to get the best of my attention

I couldn't help myself checking my phone. I did agree with my parents I wouldn't text in class but stalking people on Facebook was not part of the deal for all I knew. Philosophy was a mandatory course so I felt no obligation to look interested. Besides, people kept talking so I wasn't the only one who needed to pay attention.

The worst part about university are the big classes. I thought switching from 35 to 200 students classes wouldn't bother me, but it totally does. It took me 8 attendances to notice two acquaintances. Ouch. The bigger the class, the lonelier you feel.

That day, the girl one was absent, and the guy had ditched me for some other guy. Which left me between sleeping or stalking.

My high school friends all went to a different college. I could've done the same thing, but I knew better: I've always wanted to go to uOttawa, I mean I owned that to my younger self to accomplish at least one of my childhood dreams. But I was starting to regret it when I scrolled through my newsfeed. I couldn't figure out half of the insides of their profile pictures. I was able to visit them since I had a very nice schedule that term, but I've never been a good liar. I didn't want them to realize I missed them that much, since it didn't seem to be reciprocal. Oh well, I still had Facebook and Pinterest.

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When I was finally free to go - turned out, I just zoned out for the rest of the class - I headed to the nearest bus station, avoiding fellow classmates gazes by keeping my eyes on my phone's screen. Plugging my headphones in the device, I crossed the street without even looking out for cars (I know, I'm pretty reckless) and got myself in the bus. I was already listening to Frank Sinatra when my phone buzzed. I first thought my mom texted me to ask me where I was, but it was actually a Facebook notification.

"Raja Nasser poked you. Click here to poke him back."

Wait... What?

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High school. Hum. That was a while ago (read: I graduated in June, and we were now in November). A lot has happened during those years. I got rejected, by crushes and friends. I made new ones. I discovered my love for books. I became Christian.

And I remember Raja from my history class. He changed places twice in three months because the teacher couldn't stand him talking during the class. And the second time, he ended up assigned to the empty seat next to me. I was mad for two reasons: My feet could no longer rest on the chair and Raja smelled like weed. Needless to say, I can't even stand a cigarette's smell. So much for a first impression.

But the guy was nice. He wasn't the hottie every single girl was fantasizing about, he was the junkie everybody would wonder how the heck did that happen. Like, to the point when he had marijuana growing up in his backyard.

Besides that, I had a great time listening to his complains about the educational system and his periodical facts about Tito. Oh, and I could always count on him to wake me up whenever I was daydreaming, since he kept hoping I was paying more attention than the rest of the class, though nobody was paying attention whatsoever.
"What is Mr Laurier talking about?" he would say.
I would stretch myself, look at the powerpoint and say unapologically with a grin on my face:
"I have absolutely no idea."
Windows just seem to get the best of my attention.

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I never understood what exactly is the point of a poke on Facebook. Like, is it supposed to be annoying? And what does it mean? That you miss the person? You're playing some sort of game? I don't get it.

So I did the only thing I could think of. I poked Raja back. And quickly moved on.