Twilight Rays

19. 2 nothing

"What I'm about to tell you is really hard for me so please stick with me. I don't get to tell this often.

"So I don't know my father. I don't even know if he was dark skin or like White. And I look just like my mom but lighter. Actually, maybe that's why she abhorred me so much. She'd keep saying I looked like him, but everyone else kept telling me I had her features. Her voice. But really, I don't know.

"We were like 6 kids at home. I was the only light skin one. My kinky hair were softer than theirs, and they used to make fun of me about my features. I was the younger one, so there's not much I could do about it.

"When I was 4 years old, I was playing with my twin brother outside. My older siblings were all wandering in the neighbourhood, so it didn't matter my mom wasn't watching over us. And yet...

"...When I pushed Tremaine, nobody got time to reach for him. A car had already rolled over his body. I yelled. I couldn't help myself to. My mother spanked me for fighting with him so close to the road. From that day on, she hated me. I thought she hated me before, but it wasn't it. I spent that year feeling like an intruder in my own house. I had to pay to be fed. I'd go to the well and pump the water as hard as I could. And tried really hard not to fall into the hole.

About 6 months after the accident, she sent me to the market with one of my older sisters. She told me to go to follow that weird man next to a stand, so I did it. Next thing you know, I was landing in an orphanage.

"I think about her sometimes. I was so scared when I got here in Canada, it took months to get something out of my mouth. I'm still scared to speak up sometimes. I'm still seeking approuval from my parents and Clara. I know I shouldn't but I can't help it. Maybe I'm a 4 year old toddler trapped in a 18 years old body."

I listened to her without interrupting. At some points she would stumble on some words. At others, she would bury her face in my sweater, apologizing from making it set with her tears. I could've said something, but she wouldn't even have listened to it. Guilt was making a way out of her chest, and it truly looked painful.

She fell asleep from exhaustion anyway, her cheeks still wet from her cries. I carried her in her bed.
"You're in love with her, aren't you?"
I quickly recognized Mr. Nadeau's mocking voice behind me. I turned around, Twilla still in my arms. Both her parents were looking at me, Jean with a cynical look, Léa with an attentionated smile. And I thought about his question. Where was he going with this? Why did Twilla's love life mattered that much to them?
"You said it." I shrugged, quoting Jesus.
And I walked in Twilla bedroom, sliding her between her sheets. Her mom entered the room without a word. She watched me laying her daughter down.
"She's so lucky to have you at such a crucial moment in her life." she said once we got back in the hallway.
"I'm blessed to have her around. She's awesome. So mad I've never acknowledged this before."
She seemed to thought about my answer, but just showed me to the guest room and went to sleep.

________

"What's wrong? You look confused."
"I don't remember going upstairs yesterday."
"That's cuz you fell asleep on my lap. I brought you in your room."
"Oh, sorry..."
"Stop it! I don't mind, Tweetie."
Mr Nadeau's brows frowned at the nickname, but I couldn't care less. If Twilla still agreed to talk to me, there's nothing he could do about it.
"So, he said after clearing his throat, what are you gonna say tomorrow?"
"I'll figure it out with Ray today."
2-nothing Nasser against Nadeau.
"Ray has business to handle with his family, so I've been told."
"Oh, we'll handle it together later, right Raja?"
Okay, we both lost on that one.
"Hum... I'm not sure, T, maybe I should handle this alone."
"Come on, don't do this to me, I told you way too many stuff last night..."
"Told him what?"
But she ignored him, focusing her gaze on me. Ugh, how can you say no to such a pretty face?
"Fine, I guess you can go to my place later..."
"Great!"

"Okay, I think I can finish this up later on. Let's go meet your parents", said Twilla after 2 hours of writing.
"I'd rather just call them first, to test the waters."
"Okay, I'll go in the hall."
"No! I mean, I'd still like you around. Just stay over here, I'll call them on Skype."
I open her laptop and log in. I'm silently praying they won't be online.
"Hey, calm down, it'll be fine! You've changed, you're Christian now." Twilla said with a grin.
My eyes widened. Now I had to let them know that too. Not sure they'd be pleased. Twilla probably noticed my hesitation because she said:
"Maybe we could pray before you video call them?"
I nodded. She reached for my hands and kneeled next to me.
"Father God, thank you for leading our life, and thank you, for that Raja's parents want to pursue a relationship with him. Please, may this conversation go well, and open their hearts to hear about you, Lord. In the name of Jesus, amen."
We opened our eyes.
"Now, it's up to you." she whispered, and sat in front of me, so the laptop can only film me and the white wall behind my back.
I sighed and called Mohammed. The window opened on his face.
"Hey bro!"
"Hey...where are you?" He asked, skeptical.
"Just call mom and dad already!"
He yawned, then took his laptop to the kitchen, where my parents were. My mom's face lit up when she saw the screen and my dad just waved at me.
"How y'a doin' son?"
"It's been so long! We missed you like crazy!"
"Yeah, I'm alright, what about you guys?"
"Your dad's been transfered, Lebanon's too risky because of the explosions. "
"Oh, I get it."
"We kept talking like that for about 10 minutes until Mo popped back on my screen, getting closer to the camera.
"Raja?"
"Mo, what are you doing?"
"Is that a cross on your neck?" he gasped.
Twilla, who was writing in a notebook the whole time, glanced at me.
"Just say it ." she mumbled between clenched teeth.