Twilight Rays

23. Could've been a dream

When I kissed (Well, it was so brief, could've been a dream for all I know) Twilla, two things occurred to my mind. The first one, that I loved her, and she loved me back. The second one, though, was a hard pill to swallow : Her dad was going to ask her to back off. He knew it all along, he was just waiting for Twilla to realize it so she wouldn't even dare to ask him to date me. She would just ran off.

So this is what happened. I didn't even bothered texting her, I just gave her three days then called to her house.
"Hello?"
My favourite guy was on the line.
"Can I talk to Twilla please?"
He chuckled.
"She doesn't live here anymore."
"Really?" I asked, rather happy.
"Yeah, I kicked her out."
"You what?"
"You heard right. Can't have another delinquant associated to me. Told her to get out or else."
"She... she blocked me off her life just to make you happy!"
"Doesn't matter, go get her, she's all yours."
"Where did she went?"
"I don't know, I thought she would've went to her friend's house from the street, but I haven't seen her there. That, or she's so depressed she didn't get out even since."
"Have you lost your mind? She was working her ass off making you happy and you just shrug her off like that?"
"If she really wanted to make me happy, she wouldn't even have become Christian in the first place. She just does whatever like there won't be consequences..."
"Woah, wait up, believing in God isn't a crime last time I checked."
"It is in my house. Besides, she just turned 18, she doesn't need parents anymore."
"What about the twins? They want their sister."
"Don't think so. They always thought she was just some orphan we were helping."
I was so disgusted at his reasoning I hung up without saying bye. I dialed Twilla's cellphone number. She answered at the third ringing.
"Hum?"
"Are you alright?"
"Yes, why wouldn't I be?"
"Oh I don't know, maybe because your adoptive dad's a jerk."
"Mo told you?"
"So now, my brother knows your life before me? Are you guys dating or something?"
"No, he's my friend!"
"So am I!"
"Not to me!"
She had shut me up.
"Okay. Sorry I wasted your time."
"It's nothing like that, Ray. I just need to protect myself."
"I'm not pretending to know it all but I'm pretty sure it's not biblical."
"I need a break, Ray."
"From what?"
"From...I don't know!"
Okay, the girl was just getting weird now.
"Gosh, Tweetie, make up your mind!"
"I guess what I'm trying to say is... I don't know where I'm at in life, and I want you out of it."
Wow. I never saw that one coming.
"For real?"
"For real."
I just listened to her breathing. She was pulling me off? Why?

I pressed end. I stared at my phone for like 2 minutes, in utter shock. She had called things off before they even started. It truly hurt.

"Mo?"
He appeared in the kitchen, rubbing sleep of his eyes.
"Hum?"
"Please, just tell me where she is."
He automatically knew who I was referring to.
"DeeDee's."
"I'm going."
"No, you're not."
He forced me to sit down.
"Bro, I know how much you love her. But this time, you have to back off. When the timing's right, she'll run back to your arms. For now, let her breathe."
"I don't think I'll be able to listen to her apologies if she even apologizes."
"She has her way around words, doesn't she?"
"Still."
He hugged me akwardly, and I returned the hug.
"When you feel like it, go check her on YouTube. She's amazing."
"No need of YouTube to know that."
He smiled.
"I know. Just go check."
"Can I borrow your laptop?"
"Sorry, working on a big project for school, check it on your phone."
"No, I wanted to check something else. But it's okay, you go work on your stuff."
"Okay then."
He walked back to his room, closing the door behind him. I risked calling DeeDee.
"Raja?"
"How is she?"
"She's fine, man."
"She eats and everything?"
"Dude... She eats."
"Alright. How are you?"
"I'm fine, dude, no need to worry."
"You're not tired or anything?"
"A little bit but I'm good, really."
"I'll let you go, then."
"You didn't want to talk to Twilla?"
The mention of her name made me cringe.
"NO! I mean... She's better off without me."
"Don't say that, she's just going through some tough times, she'll be back to herself in no time."
"Whatever DeeDee, let's just leave this here."
"Okay, bye."
"Bye."
I know what she's going through. I don't mind her being affected, but it is painful not comforting her, and know she doesn't want me there.

I was about to call Jauschua when I heard Mohammed's voice in the hallway:
"Stop it, you're only hurting yourself. She doesn't even know you're calling all her friends."
I collapsed on the couch, beyond bored.
"I have nothing better to do."
"Gosh, now you sound desperate. Just watch those covers already." Mo said, handing me his laptop.

I google their YouTube account.
"Gee, how many covers did you guys do?"
"About 12, I think? But we do vlogs sometimes."
I scrolled to the bottom of the page, looking for the oldest cover. Aretha Franklin's 'I say a little prayer'. They had covered that? I press play.

She hadn't cut her hair yet in the video. She had them shoulder length at the time, but they were still unfamiliar to me, because she used to straighten them. There, they were like her recent short curls, but more misheveled. I got a little sad to have not known her at this stage of her life, as short as it was.

In the video, Mo was at the keyboard introducing her to the viewers. After a few words, he started playing the song, but it seemed slower than I remembered the song to be.

She was sitting right next to Mo on the piano bench. She waited a little before she started singing. I couldn't hold back my smile when she closed her eyes to sing:
"The moment I wake up..."
My eyes widened. She was low key amazing. She could've made me believe it was her own song.

I scrolled down a little to see the video's description and my eyes landed on the uploading date. The same as the day she messaged me back in London to shut me off.