East Side Line (Kavi AU)

I Don't Want To Go Home

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The red eyes and puffy cheeks that adorned Kirstie's face reflected back at her through the mirror reminding her of just how pathetic that fight had been. Avi had been sorry, incredibly sorry, and Kirstie had still snapped at him for his silly mistake. It was mean of her, it was cruel but she couldn't help it. She had an awful day, one that very much needed to be improved upon by a date with her boyfriend but the thought of him being too preoccupied to remember their plans had made her outraged. He had had a rough day too, she should have been supportive but she wasn't in the mood and was far from it.

She glanced down at her flat stomach in the mirror, dreaming of the day it would one day become swollen through a pregnancy but that day was far off, further away than she had originally thought. Kirstie was so certain this time that she was, she was certain she had had morning sickness, she believed the store bought test, she swore she saw her body slowly beginning to change. 

But she had been mistaken.

Her sickness had just been food poisoning, the test an anomaly, and all it took was a trip to the doctors surgery earlier that day to confirm that all her hopes were not reality. It was like grief, she was upset about a child that never existed, a child she had begun to love only to find out it wasn't there, not yet anyway. She didn't understand what had made her loose her reasoning nature, the two of them were always safe, she would go as far to say overly safe (if that was even possible), as a pregnancy would mean she would be out of a job for a while and they weren't in the finical situation for that to be okay yet. The chances of an 'accident' happening was slim yet still still let herself dream away her logic. She wasn't sure how something that was never there could hurt so much but it did.

She would tell him one day, just not then, she wasn't ready but she knew she owed him one hell of an apology. 

Maybe she had already lost him.

-

"I figured you'd be here."

Avi groaned at the familiar voice and raised his head from the mug of coffee he was trying to force his tastebuds to accept and glared at the blonde woman sliding into the booth across from him. He had come to the retro diner over in Brooklyn for some time alone, not to be interrupted by the likes of her.

"What do you want?" He grumbled, not in the mood for any conversation let alone a conversation with her.

"To see how you are." His old friend replied curtly, clearly he wasn't in the mood to be bothered but she had to try, her conscience demanded her to.

"Cut the act Diana, you haven't cared for my feeling since you left New York...how on earth did you know something was wrong?" Avi sighed, leaning back against the booth in a dejected manner.

"It's a small island...well small ex-Juilliard group chat on Facebook." Diana jested softly while removing her coat, dropping it onto the seat next to her. "Plus you always come here when you're feeling down, we all do. Annie's is comfort for all of us."

"Please just leave." Avi ordered, desperate to be left alone to wallow in his own self pity. He was disgusted with himself, disgusted at his mistake, disgusted at how he handled the situation, disgusted at the whiskey he had consumed as a result. He was that annoyed with himself he was drinking coffee to force the alcohol out of his system and he never ever drank coffee.

"Not until you tell me what's wrong, you are never this good at arguing back." She gulped nervously, waiting for his hostile response. It had to be done, she needed to repair her relationship with him for her own sake.

"So you can have some gossip to spread around the city? Not a chance in hell." Avi face scrunched up in annoyance as he snapped back at her. He had trusted her, welcomed her back to the city with open arms and all she had done was use it against him.

Her reply was quiet and gentle. "Don't be like that, I care."

Her response made Avi scoff in disbelieve at what he was hearing and raised his hand in frustration while he continued his accusations. "Yeah, now that I actually have two cents to my name. Now tell me now, are you here to try and get me into bed with you for me or for publicity because I really can't -"

"- you've been drinking haven't you." Diana stared at him accusingly, Avi and heavy drinking had always been a disastrous combination but she doubted he had sunk too low that night just from his appearance. Avi was seeming a little rough, which was particular apparent in his choice of words, but far from being the drunken mess she had seen him as only a few times before.

"Only a little but I can see sense, I always have been able to I've just been too nice to say it." He shook his head as he spoke before picking up his coffee and attempted to drink it despite his mouth's protests.

Diana knew he was right, he was allowed to be angry at her, she had been an awful friend but she knew she had to stay strong and not let his words affect her, the least he needed at that moment was more misery. "You know you are wrong about me, I really care about you."

However, Diana's calm tone was lost on Avi and he slammed down the finished mug of coffee onto the table with a bang and practically growled at her. "Oh fuck off back to Chicago, Diana."

Sighing, Diana continued. "I've changed Avi, I'm not going to deny that. I hate myself for it. I push people away, I'm miserable. Nothing is going right in the world anymore. You know what the best role I had down in Chicago was...an understudy. No one from the old gang still talks to me - well I mean I'm still in contact but I don't think anyone cares about being my friend. And then there's you, you're always so nice and you're so successful and-and your girlfriend's perfect. So I guess that's why I came on to you so strongly, I wanted what you had...I wanted you."

"Even if all those problems are real then it's not an excuse to act that way, especially in front of my girlfriend." He countered like it was a matter of fact. 

"No, I know. I'm sorry." She looked at her hands guilty as she spoke, uncomfortable that her insecurities were being commented on.

"Thank you." Avi's words were quick and soft, not wishing to appear to the woman that he was beginning to forgive her.

"But you need to stop this, the angst, the restraint. I know you too well Avi, you're scared of your own potential and that's making you like this - too argumentative for your own good." Diana's eyes rose to meet his, hoping that somehow she could get through to him. "You've got a great thing with Kirstie but your going to end up loosing her if you keep on acting like this Avi. You need to sit back and let fate do its job, stop fighting. Don't end up like me."

"I don't want to talk about it." He groaned, throwing his head against the back of the booth.

"I can tell. But you need to talk to someone so go home and see Kirstie." She commanded, leaning forward slightly to emphasise her point.

"It's... not that easy." Avi admitted remorsefully, he couldn't just walk into his apartment without experiencing some sort of assault from his offended girlfriend.

"Ah, I see...well you need to come up with something big to get back onto her good side." Her eyes widened for dramatic effect as she felt herself beginning to fall into her usual routine with him, at ease and relaxed. She could sense that something between them had changed and the air between them was much, much easier to breath in.

Pausing for a moment to take in her words, Avi took a second to think before standing up suddenly and pulled on his coat. He scurried towards the door of the diner, throwing on his scarf while typing a quick text to Kevin as he left behind an old friend without even wishing her goodbye.

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Update: Next chapter will be the end for this story. We've had a good run but I think it's time to let this one go. But who knows? Maybe I'll add the odd one-shot every now and again or even an epilogue.

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