Asking for fogivness

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Merlins POV
Not daring to look him in the eyes, I focus on my hands. "What are you doing here?" My voice is quiet and weak as I'm on the edge of crying.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said those things to you." I glance up at him and see that he's as sad about this as I am. But I have to tell myself that I can't always forgive people that easy. I have to stand up for myself.

"No, you shouldn't." Heavy breathing is the only sound between the two of us. Pain is shown in both of our eyes.

"Why Gwaine?" He asks with anger in his eyes. I tilt my head to the side, confused. "Why seek comfort from him and not me?" I look at him with disbelief.

How could that possibly be the thing he thinks of at this moment? After apologizing, he accuses me of yet another thing. How outrageous!

"Arthur, I love you, but after what you said, I could't stay anymore. Whether or not you mean it, I'm constantly hurt by being with you." It's true.

For months I've been trying to deny it. Everything started to go wrong the moment we confessed our feelings towards each others. I knew loving Arthur was going to be dangerous, but i never meant for this to happen.

"You knew what you were getting yourself into!" He points an accusing finger at me as a single tear rolls down his cheek.

"And I wouldn't change it for the world, but I-"

"But you what? You don't love me enough? YOU can't stand the looks on every ones faces as you walk past them?! How do you think I feel? I'm their king!" Not believing what I just heard, I walk with fast steps out to face him.

"I love you more than I ever thought I would! And don't you think for one moment that I don't care how you feel. I know very well those looks, I've faced them my entire life!" Arthur looks down at the ground, with different emotions showing in his face. Maybe it's guilt, anger or both.

Arthurs POV
Was I being to harsh against him? I know Merlin loves me, I just couldn't stop myself from asking if he did.

Guilt builds up him my stomach as I look up to face him. His blue eyes are now grey and dull.

"Does this mean you no longer want to be mine?" I ask quietly, almost praying that he did't hear. Maybe he wants Gwaine instead. Maybe they'd be happier than we are.

"I'll always be yours." He says with the same low voice. With hope in my eyes, I bring him into a brief embrace. At first he tense up and doesn't move but then he gives in and places a hand on my lower back.

"Can you forgive me?" It's a question I'm too afraid of knowing the answer to.

"I want to. I just don't know if I can." I stumble back and kneel down on the cold ground.

What have I done? If I just talked kindly to him at the beginning then this wouldn't have happened.

Maybe after all, I'll turn out just like my father.

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Hey guys! Hope you had a great Christmas!

Song on the side is 'A thousands years' By Christina Perri.

Have any thoughts? Leave them in the comment below. I think it'll be a while until I upload the next one. I still haven't finished it. If you have any suggestions on how you want it to end then leave them in the comment.

Until next time.





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