A Rainy Tuesday || larry

Nineteen.

Gunshots fill the room and Harry tries to control is immediate reaction to cover his hears and scream. Liam and Niall are playing some war game and Zayn sits next to him with a reassuring hand on his knee. They're all at Niall's house and Harry is questioning how Zayn managed to talk him into this.

"Guys can we play like Mario Kart or something. This is a little much," Zayn speaks up and Liam snorts, but Niall pauses the game.

"Why'd you stop? C'mon we're almost done. He needs to move along with his fears. This helps," Liam complains loudly and Niall just turns and looks at Harry. Since the day on Harrys steps the two have been more civil with each other. Harry despises Liam - especially because he tries to steal Zayn all the time.

"No, bro, let's stop. Mario Kart is just has fun if not more fun," Niall quickly replies. Harry relaxes at his words and Liam rolls his eyes and stands up.

"Need to smoke, Z?" He asks and Zayn nods as he stands up too. "Coming, Ni?" He asks and Niall just shakes his head.

"I'll stay in with Harry and get the game set up," he tells him and Liam just makes a face, but leaves without comment. The room is silent as Niall gets up and starts to get everything ready for the new game. Harry twiddles his thumbs and looks down at his socked feet.

"You can invite Tomlinson if you want. Might take off the edge a little," Niall speaks and Harry jumps at the sound of his voice. Niall furrows his brow and pulls a cig from his pocket and lights up.

"You can smoke in the house?" Harry asks a question instead of replying about Louis.

"My house. Liam knows we can smoke down here he just likes to make a point of being an ass," Niall explains.

"You two have something in common then," Harry snips back and Niall chuckles as the game comes to life on the screen.

"Funny. I like it better when you talk back," Niall remarks. Harry just rolls his eyes and pulls out his phone. Louis hasn't messaged him much today and Harry's worried about that. Usually the boy messages him like crazy, but not in the ultra clingy way. It's subtle and cute and Harry misses him.

"Are you inviting him over? Your sad puppy eyes are killing my mood," Niall tells him without turning away from the screen. The other two boys file in as he finishes the sentence and Liam just moves towards the other remote without even sparing Harry a glance.

"Yeah I will," Harry tells Niall and Zayn gives him a look which Harry ignores. He quickly types out a message to Louis and he hopes the boy will show up. He doesn't understand why Liam makes him so weary.

"Hey, pretty boy, you wanna join?" Liam asks. Harry looks up and sees Liam handing him a remote. He goes red at the nickname and gingerly takes it in his hand. "You're on my team. Hopefully you don't suck that bad."

Harry sighs at the comment, but prepares to play. He's not awful at Mario Kart, but clearly the other three boys are better. Liam huffs next to him and Harry tries to ignore the vibrating of his phone. He finally managed to hit Zayn with a shell and to get in front of him. He stays that way through the race and feels better when he comes in third and not forth.

"You suck, but not as much as Zayn," Niall laughs and Liam rolls his eyes and leans back.

"Whatever. Answer your phone it's driving me crazy."

Harry gleefully grabs his phone and checks his messages. Louis agrees to coming over, but says he really doesn't want to stay long with them. Harry smiles at the message and types back Niall's address before putting his phone is his pocket.

"He's coming, but can't stay long," Harry tells Niall and Niall rolls his eyes in understanding.

"Right. He's too cool for us bad kids," Niall sarcastically replies. Harry just ignores the comment and leans back to watch the boys play. He's not one to be into video games and he slips into his own thoughts of life now and life before and he doesn't know if he likes the difference.

Harry's been plagued with the thought that he's moving too fast. Chad dies, Chad kills and Harry is in another relationship 5 months later. He basically got back to school and found someone else. He can't change the way he feels though. He likes Louis. He cares about Louis. He thinks Louis is really good for him honestly, but he doesn't have the closure he needs from Chad. He doesn't have a goodbye.

There's thumps on the stairs and Harry looks up to see Louis awkwardly walk in the room. He's wearing jeans and.a plain shirt but Harry thinks he looks lovely as always.

"Your mom let me in..." Louis trails off. The game didn't get paused and the other three boys don't even turn to acknowledge him.

"That's cool. Sit down," Niall speaks and Louis frowns and slowly moves forward to Harry. The boy scoots over on the beanbag and Louis plops down next to him. He's warm and Harry smiles as he nuzzles into his shoulder and smells his familiar scent.

"Drive over?" Harry whispers and Louis nods. He's eyeing the room and his shoulders feel tense. Harry moves to grab his hand and Louis quickly squeezes his fingers.

"You're big into soccer, eh? Heard you're the star," Liam states as the game finishes and Niall cheers in victory.

"Guess so. Not big into this season," Louis replies back politely and Zayn looks down as if he's prepared for the stupid remark. Harry refuses to let either of the two idiots have their glory of triggering Louis and smiles at Liam.

"Did you play back home? Or were you too busy fucking the school secretary?" Harry asks. Liam sputters as the reason he got expelled echoes through the room and Niall chokes on air and starts to cough as Zayn goes wide eye.

"Who told you that?" Liam asks angrily and Harry just shrugs.

"I can look things up. How about we both stop bringing up the past?" Harry offers and the boy just glares but rolls his eyes.

"Whatever. At least I wasn't fucking a psychopath," Liam retorts and Harry grits his teeth.

"At least he wasn't almost 60," he shoots back. Louis is completely tense by now and Harry can feel his grip crushing his fingers.

"Did you help him decide who to shoot, you freak?" Liam sneers.

Everything then happens at once. Harry can't speak, but Louis is up within in seconds. Zayn is shouting and Niall is trying to hold Louis back as he goes to swing. From what Harry can gather everyone is not okay with what Liam said. Louis is all but ready to commit a murder himself and Zayn is spitting as he loses his temper.

The accusation floats through Harry's head. He remembers small details about each person. They had talked about each person. Harry recalls them talking about Mr. Sampson failing Chad and how he was such a hard ass. Hannah Ridou just thought she was better than everyone. Nurse Becca was a bitch and George Fuller was an asshole and Harry remembers them talking about Jeff Hazel. Jeff Hazel pushed Harry into a locker at lunch one day and Chad had said someone needed to bring his ego down a notch. All these conversations and reasons and hate filled Harry's mind and he felt like he couldn't breathe.

This is his fault. He helped plan this. He helped put a bullet through all of them. He helped hurt their families and friends and he helped hurt Louis. His precious Louis.

"I need to go," Harry managed out. He stood up quickly and ran for the stairs. Louis had calmed down and was the one to run after him. He chased Harry out of the house and into the street.

"Hey! Hey. Harry," Louis grabbed his wrist and Harry jerked away and he felt like his heart was breaking and he didn't understand that. His heart felt like it has broken so much and he doesn't know how there's anything left. How it can fix itself to just shatter over and over.

"I'm sorry," Harry cries. He's sorry for leaving and he sorry for loving a killer and he's sorry for helping him. He's sorry for not being fully there for Louis, for taking away Louis' person. He's sorry for existing at this point and for the first time he wishes Chad had just taken him with him.

Louis pulls him into his arms and his familiar smell and warm shirt and soft hair and smooth voice just makes Harry feel worse. Harry doesn't deserve Louis' love.

"It's okay. Ignore that fuckhead. Breathe, H," Louis quietly instructs. Harry slowly manages to get air and he clings to the smaller boy and he thinks this would all be easier if he just died that day.

"I'm so sorry," Harry whispers again.