Oblivion || n.h

Fourteen

[Niall]

I wake up to the sounds of the shower running and the smell of fresh coffee and bacon coming from the tray of food at the foot of the bed. But the thought of eating is the last thing on my mind after these hellish few weeks.

My headache is long gone and I would consider myself lucky that no tormenting dreams ruined my slumber. If it weren't for the aches and pains sprawled out across my body that ruined it instead. The fall from the fence was hardly fatal, but it hurts like hell.

Coming into full consciousness, I turn and look at Violet's side of the bed. Reaching my hand out over her side I imagine her still laying beside me. I was too scared to lay in watch of her sleep, worried that she might catch me and call me out on my shit. So I forced myself to turn over no matter the pain it caused me.

A wave of familiarity quickly washes over me. Almost sparking some sort of a memory. It's so tangible I can nearly make sense of it. Certain aspects of the memory are clear as day, as if I'm reliving it all over again. Yet the more I try to grasp it the quicker it vanishes from sight. And just like that the sliver of a memory is gone along with any of my hope.

I sit up in frustration and hold my head in my hands. Why can't I bloody remember anything?!

I only remember aspects of the last fives years, and some memories from my teen years. When I think back on it I come to realize a lot of my memories seem out of sequence. They make sense and add up but some parts of the memories seem foggy. Almost as if they've been tampered with. The idea doesn't shock me, given the last couple of weeks it makes perfect sense. God were the last five years of my life even real?

The thought only makes my need for answers that much more demanding.

I have no clues or proof to go off of, other than my own experiences. And for a split second I feel insane as an idea strikes. I get out of bed and scurry over to my laptop.

Firing up Google. The first thing I search is: Memory Loss.

A definition of the phrase turns up: 

Memory Loss: (amnesia) is unusual forgetfulness. You may not be able to remember new events, recall one or more memories of the past, or both. The memory loss may be for a short time and then resolve (transient). Or it may not go away, and, depending on the cause, it can get worse over time.

Well that makes me feel loads better..

I take it a bit further and look up: Purposely Induced Memory Loss

I got back dozens of web links on traumatic experiences being blocked out by shrinks and hypnosis. Nothing pertaining to abductions or any of the sort. And then I realized, I was looking it up wrong.

I typed in: Memory Loss and Abduction...

And came across dozens of links with dozens of stories on people being taken in their sleep and being gone for days at a time but having no memory of what happened during the time they were away. Just instances where they know that something is missing but are subjected to never knowing why. All this was interesting enough but I wanted to find something or someone who dealt with a double abduction.

I just wanted some kind of answers...

 I was on the tenth page that read: "Why doesn't my best friend remember me?"

I wasn't thoroughly convinced by the title, or the fact that most of these stories were posted on some public blog but it was better than the scholarly stuff I had been reading for the last twenty minutes.