Oblivion || n.h

Nineteen

I'm on a stretcher, the wheels underneath me squeak with every crack they roll over. My eyes are closed but slowly my other senses come back to me. The air is stale, moist and oddly familiar...

I've been here before... Yes, you have. A voice answers

I feel my body jerk but I can't will myself to move on my own yet.

Who are you? I find myself asking, Where am I?

I'm you... the real you Violet. We're far from where we're meant to be...

I feel my chest tighten but my body is still frozen. I'm talking to myself? What the fuck?!

I know, you don't remember. Its okay to be scared, I'm still here. I'm fighting for us,  you, him...

What?

You love him Violet. We love him. Always have...That's why we're still here. It drives them crazy.

Love? Them? What are you talking about, you're not me! Get out of my head! 

The wave of emotion allows my body to jerk.

"You see that?" One man says to the other, "Yeah, this ones still kicking."

"You idiot, she ain't dead," I hear a smack and I know he's just hit  him somehow. "She's just sleep is all, say stuff like that gives me the chills."

The other chuckles, "You do realize what you do for a living right? You help abduct people and set em up to get brainwashed. And that's the only thing you find creepy?"

I feel my eyes fill with tears. Brainwash? Abduct?

My heart is banging against my rib cage, blood thumping through my veins at furious speeds. Yet, I can't move.

I knew there was something bigger than us happening here but this is just too overwhelming.

"Alright, set her up next to him. The doc wants to go over some stats and I'll be right back" The one man says to the other. And I feel them turn a sharp corner and then I come to a stop. The air is cleaner, less musty. I can hear the sound of machinery, soft hums and steady beeps.

There's a procedure about to happen here.

You have to try and open your eyes. Try to remember everything Violet.

I can't... I answer as I am being hooked up to the humming machines. I feel the tackiness of the electrodes attaching themselves to my skin, their wire cord tails sliding off the groves of my body.

A cough and the sound of heavy receding footsteps.

You aren't trying... Do you really want to continue living in the dark?

Do I? Up until now this was the only life I knew. I mean, the only life I knew existed. Now it turns out theres a whole other existence where I am not who I think I am.

I thought I enjoyed dancing, having control over the thoughts of others with my sensuality. I thought I lived with no one to fight for me. Now, I have someone who is willing to risk it all for me, for my memories. But is it even worth it? What if my reality is worse than the illusion? What if I'll hate it and i'll be changed forever. What if...

"Violet.." he calls my name with a croaky voice.

I feel my eyes flutter, something inside me fights to come out at the sound of his voice. It's me, it's you - its us Violet. Our feelings for him...

Can it be that strong? 

"Vi.." he calls again, his voice hoarse as if stuck in a dreamlike state. This time my eyes shoot open. The sound of his voice forcing my eyelids to come apart. The whispers carress my skin and send a warmth across my body, slowly awakening my limbs.

I turn my head to the left and there he is lying with his eyes fluttering frantically, repeating my name. Over and over until he starts twitching, his cheast starts heaving and he's crying? "Violet!" he cries, somewhere between a scream and a howl.

"Niall!" I mouth but no sound comes out. I try again and again, finally I find my voice but it gets lost in the sounds of his heavy breathing and the frantic beeping of his heart monitor. I tug at the restraints that bind my hands and feet to the stretcher.

He stops saying my name but still thrashing agaisnt his restraints, like a fish out of water, slowing, steadying. His eyes are still shut but I can see them moving frantically under his lids.

"Niall," I croak, "I'm here. Wake up!" I call over, "Please wake up" I coax.

He gasps and his eyes shoot open, piercing blue eyes scanning our surroundings until they land on mine.

"Violet" he says my name in disbelief, "I - I thought... I lost you"

He lowers his eyes, his chest still heaving as he tries to steady his breath. You did... I think to myself.

No. He hasn't. I hear my own voice echo and then it starts, the flash of images and my head begins to pound, a sensation of fire engulfing my brain.

"Violet? Wha-whats wrong?" Niall breathes, a tinge of panic in his voice but he's exhausted. You can hear it.

I can't bring myself to answer his questions.

Flashes of a life I had forgotten are preoccupying all my senses.

My 5th birthday when I got my first bike and managed to scrape both my knees only seconds after riding it. The image fades into blinding light as another image takes its place.

Getting my first dog at 8... 

Flash

My first bra at 10...

Flash

Meeting Niall at 13...

Flash

All of it, in super sonic speed up until the night it  happened. The night I said yes to Niall's proposal. I had just gotten back from college, got engaged to the man that I love and was about to start a new chapter in my career.

I feel my back arch, peeling itself from the metal stretcher as my brain continues to fry and it catches up to the present.

All at once, I experience it again, feeling the emotions and sensations for the first and second time. Only to realize that it was so easily replaced with someone elses life, memories, experiences and feelings...

God, how could this have happened?

My eyes burst open in a flood of tears, they burn so much I think I must be crying tears of blood.

They adjust to the light as I let myself fall back against the stretcher, my almost naked torso reattaching itself to it.

"Niall..." I sniff, turning to look at him, "I'm so sorry... I almost didn't..." My voice fails as I begin to sob. The idea of wanting to keep the life and memories of my imposed alter ego instead of the life I lived with Niall breaks my heart as Im sure it breaks his. How could I have almost let that life go? Let the love of my life go?

"No, baby don't.. it's not your fault. Please..." he begs, itching against his restraints to try and touch me.

Clap. Clap. Clap.

"Bravo, so touching, so... raw" The voice of a man interrupts, "Too bad it'll all have to be erased again."

His heavy footsteps echo in the small, damp room as he makes his way in front of us. Both Niall and I share a quick glance as our limbs struggle against the restraints.

"Who the fuck are you?" Niall is the first to speak.

"Me?" the man feigns surprise, "I'm the doctor" he looks back to me and smiles.