8 Second Ride COMPLETED

Chapter 12

June 4, 2012 

Austin, Texas

It's been a few weeks since Ryan and I have met and things had been going great so far. He had left for a few days to travel to another fair and ride bulls there. He said he needed the money and begged me for hours to come with him. 

I couldn't abandon my mother or the farm since we didn't have any extra farm hands this year. The animals would all be dead as a door knob if I wasn't here feed them. That I was sure of.

My dad has continued to leave me alone since Ryan beat him up, and is rarely home even when he isn't at work. I feel so bad for my mom though, I know she loves him unconditionally and he treats her so bad. 

Now, he is rarely here and her once bright green eyes, are dull and lifeless. She hasn't been like this since Kevin died. And I feel like it's all my fault but she insists it's not. It still doesn't make me feel any better. 

Why couldn't it have been me in that truck instead of Kevin? That is the the one question that I always ask myself every day. He had so much going for him. Becoming a large animal vet, getting out of this stupid hick town. 

Why? Why.... him? Someone so innocent and so good that never deserved that kind of fate. 

I figured that today would a good day to visit Kevin's grave. We buried him on our property, in his favorite spot. The spot where he used to think, study, party. You name it, he did it there. He said if there ever was a paradise, his spot was it. 

I never really thought about it at the time, but he was so right. It was more than paradise. It was heaven on earth... 

Ryan will be coming back sometime today, I'm not sure when and I need to get away from reality for a while. I just hope I'm back before he gets here. He rarely even leaves my house now and my mom doesn't mind one bit. I don't know if it's because she feels safer with him around, or that she likes seeing me happy.  I'm guessing it's a bit of both. I know Ryan would never let my dad hurt either of us.

After telling my mom where I'm headed, she gives me a small bundle of red roses from her flower bed to put on Kevin's grave. I stick them in my saddle bag careful not so squash them before throwing it over my shoulder, and head out to the barn. 

Opening the tack room door, I walk over to a covered saddle sitting in a corner all alone. The dust has accumulated on the black plastic over the years. Since I was twelve. 

Pulling the cover off, the cloud of dirt making me cough and cover my mouth. Waving my hand back and forth to clear the air. When the dust settles, I look down at the beautiful saddle and matching bridle my brother had gotten me for my birthday. 

The gift that he'd went to town and picked up for me that day.

The leather on the saddle is a cherry brown and the pattern design on it is light blue, along with the suede seat. There is one letter engraved on the cantle of the seat, A, along with one on the top of the saddle horn. 

The Cheyenne roll has three words on it, Let er' Buck. 

I smile and I feel the tears prick my eyes as I rub my fingers over the flawless leather. He knew me so well, better than anyone. 

I haven't been able to look at the saddle since the day he died. It had been placed here and left the day of his funeral and never looked at again. I guess I was trying to bury the memories of that terrible day. Too bad my birthday reminds me every year no matter what.