Never Ending Love (Ezria)

Dear Diary: Ezra

July
It has been more than a month. She was my oxygen. She was who got me through  everyday. She was everything to me. But now, because of one stupid mistake, I have lost her. I don't have the loved of my life in my life anymore, and it is killing me slowly. I don't know why I broke up with her. There were so many emotions going straight through me, and for a single moment I thought about her future. I thought about how I didn't want her to go to college with any baggage. I was the biggest part of her baggage in high school. I just don't think she knows any different because I was her first real boyfriend. I know she's upset, and barely talking too. Both Ella and Byron have called me, and Ella has come over. I hate that she is upset. I hate it.

Her parents understand, but don't like seeing their daughter like this. Byron was angry. He wasn't angry at me, he was angry that she was so heartbroken. I think he had grown to like me, and all of a sudden, I wasn't there. He told me that if he was going to give his daughter away to anyone, he wanted it to be me. He said that he knew I treated her well, and with our history, that meant more than the world to me.

Ella called to ask if she could come over to discuss this face to face, and of course, I agreed. To my astonishment, she didn't look the slightest bit angry she she came in. We actually sat across from each other on the two couches that I have and had a nice conversation. She told me that she completely understood why I did break up with her. She said that that she completely understood my reasoning behind it, and that Ar- I can't even write her name. Ella told me that she never saw two people more in love. I'm so thankful that they have finally come around. Ella thinks we'll end up together, and I do to. That is the whole reason I did this. I don't want her to resent me through college for holding her back. I love her two much to lose her forever.

I love her. I love her more than I've ever loved anything. I miss her to. But I suppose when people say, "I love you more," they don't only mean the obvious thing. They mean they love each other more than they miss them. That they love each other more than the pain that they have gone through for them. That they love each other more than the amounts of time that they have been separated. I love Aria Montgomery, and I believe that this is the first time I have expressed her name in anyway since that day. I need to let her do what is right for herself, even if it pains me.

Ezra

Ezra closed the random book, he picked to write in and took a deep breath before sighing. That's all he was doing nowadays. Sighing, breathing, eating, sleeping. His days were endless cycles of sitting and thinking. Just contemplating everything he has done in the last month and few days.

He hadn't spoken to Aria since. Not even a word. He was so lonely from just staying in his apartment most days. He only went to the brew when he absolutely needed to. He knew that Aria could be there, and he decided that he couldn't face her quite yet. It would be too difficult to look at the pain stuck in her eyes, screaming to be rescued.

He felt ashamed for leaving her like he did. He felt small.

Ezra walked to his tiny kitchen and grabbed an apple before sitting down. He sat down on the couch where he and Aria had shared many different moments together. He knew they were meant to be with each other forever. Ezra Fitz knew that, just from the small moments they had shared. The ones that were supposed to be meaningless, but we're actually meaningful.

One again, Ezra sighed. He remembered all of the words exchanged between the two of them, in that very apartment.

"Even though this doesn't look right, it has always felt right, and I will not let him turn this into something that feels wrong."

"You wanna be real? Forget about theory."

"Do you have any idea how much I love you?"

"I don't ever want to hear you say you're sorry again."

"What you and I have is the most real and honest thing in my life."

"Can we just be here."

The memories of the camera that he had gotten her, and the pictures that they had taken with it. Or sitting on the couch when they thought Noel Kahn was going to tell the school about them.

Ezra knew that he needed to be with her. He was going to be with her. The question, Though, was when. When would be the perfect time to tell her? Byron and Ella were on his side, so they could help. Maybe he would contact them. Still, though. The question was still when.

A/N: I'm sorry about how short this is. If I didn't update today I didn't know when I would. This definitely isn't my best, but next chapter should be better. I hope you are enjoying this story, and it is going to get much better from here.

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