I didn't sleep at all last night.
Not even a little cat nap.
No, my thoughts were all on the fact that I had to tell Cameron that I have Cancer.
It still seems surreal to me. As if all of it is just a dreadful dream but hey, I didn't sleep.
It's almost if I can already for see how today is going to play out. I'm going to tell Cam, he'll cry, I'll cry, he'll beg me to come back home, I'll cave In. It's like I've convinced myself of this scenario and I truly believe it. Sad isn't it.
Looking at the clock my heavey eyes opened wide at the fact it was only 6:30 am and Cameron didn't wake up until at least 10:00 o'clock.
Maybe if I called he would make an exception .
I waisted no time thinking it through and waited until a groggy morning voiced Cameron answered the phone.
"Hello?" He said and my heart both sank and fluttered at once.
"Um, Cameron?" A few seconds passed before he realized who he was speaking too.
"Paisley?.....Hey, what's going on?" He asked his tone was a mixture between sad and happy, but I pushed it aside.
"Alot actually, I have something important I need to share with you....it's kind of an emergency. Do you think I could come over?"
"Yeah sure no problem, I'm up. You still have your key right?" He asked.
"Yeah, I'll be over in a few." With that I hung up. I threw on the hoodie I mindlessly stole from Cameron right before I left him and a pair of boyfriend sweatpants from Victoria's secret. Slipping on my old but favorite pair of Vans I studied myself in the mirror. My hair literally looked like a rat's nest so I managed to throw it in an extremely messy bun. I left Sammy a note on the door,
Sammy went to Cameron's, obviously you can imagine what for. I left Dakota here, I didn't have the heart nor nerves to wake her up.
See ya soon
Love, P.
Then I left. The drive to Cameron's was longer considering I stopped at Starbucks on the way. I needed coffee to survive the visit to Cameron's.
I thought that I would be more nervous at this moment, standing at his doorstep to tell him my tragedy but I'm actually perfectly calm. Everything inside me is strangly at peace and I can't tell you why. Setting a coffe down I successfully unlocked the door and picked the coffee back up. Cameron was in the kitchen cooking, it smelled delicious.
"Hey Paisley!" He said with a smile and I felt everything that I thought disappear surface and , I liked it.
"Hey cam, I brought you something." I say while holding up the drink in the air.
"White Mocha?" He asked raising an eyebrow.
"Only the best." He smirked and turned the stove off, making his way twoarrd me.
He embraced me into one of those warm Cameron hugs that I absolutely adored. I hugged him back.
"It's been awhile." He stated softly, almost in a wisper.
"I know, I missed you." I reply in the same tone. He pulled away and kissed my forhead, obviously testing his boundaries, seeing where we stand.
He took his coffee and we walked into the living room where we sat down on the couch.
"So Miss. Jacobs what was your emergency." I made a long and sad eye contact with him and then took a deep breth in.
"So I suppose Sam told you I haven't been feeling well " I say and Cameron slowly nodded.
"Well I went to the doctor yesterday and they ran some test's. The results wernt good." Cameron's face fell and he looked slightly confused.
"Well what did they say was wrong?" He asked and tears were working there way to the brim of my eye's.
"Cameron, I have Cancer." I said so bluntly, I think it was in that moment Cameron realized what was to happen.
He lost it.
Tears were falling down his face and the emotion was so thick. You know in those movies where the mother finds out her child has died and she screams in agony........this is how Cameron reacted.
"NOOOO!!!" He screamed while the cracks in his cries took over. He fell to his knees and began sobbing once again. Rocking back and forth the man's body shook in sarrow and if I could change it I would.
Seeing this was hard a I cried for him. He just stayed there on the floor crying, and I joined him. He wrapped his arms around me and cried into my boney shoulder.
This went on for a few hours until we both cried ourselves to sleep.
Waking up to a man silently crying and praying in a hushed wisper was strange. Not strange because he was praying but because I knew it was about me.
My eyes connected with his and he kissed my forhead for the second time today. We sat in silence, neither of us said a word because there wasn't anything to talk about. Besides when her asked the question I've been expecting.
"How long have you had it?" He asked with sad emotiones tapped into his voice.
"Two months." I replied.
"When do you start treatment?"
"When I make the appointment."
The silence occured once again, it wasn't uncomfortable or awkward, it was where we would think and sometimes think out loud.
"I want you to move back in with me Paisley, I ewing to be the one to take care of you and Dakota
I miss you here." I smiled and nodded my head.
"I'd like that, but Cameron this isn't going to be easy on us.....I don't want you to see me the way I'm going to look." He wrapped his muscly arms around my abdomen and pulled me into his chest.
His scent.
Oh his scent was something I've missed and occasionally longed for but never told a soul.
"Paisley, I will love you till the day I die weather your sick, gone, or perfectly healthy. I love you."
"I love you to Cam.....Hey I'm going to call the hospital and make an appointment then call sam and ask him to bring my things....including our baby." Cameron slowly nodded while he released his tight grin on me.
Things we're going to be diffrent.
But that's okay.
Authors Note.
Hey guys!!
I tried to write this as I pictured it in my head and I hope you can tap into Cameron's emotions.
What do you think is in store for Paisley's future?
Comment your thoughts below.
Love,
Ashley Dallas
