The Shadow Walker

77. The Hardest Farewell

"Eda? You need to wake up." A hand on my shoulder gently shook me awake.

I opened my eyes. Èowyn stood over me, her expression somewhat uncomfortable. Legolas's arms tightened around my waist for a moment, then he began to stir. "Mm... lady Èowyn?"

She backed away and curtsied. "I hope I wasn't interrupting anything," she said, a blush crawling up her neck.

"Yeah," I groused, "my sleep." I groaned and rubbed my face.

She gave an apologetic smile. "Lord Dwalin is ready to leave. He asked me to find you."

I sighed, feeling a burn at the back of my throat but having no tears left to cry. "Does he have enough provisions for two?"

"Yes."

I rubbed my face, then reluctantly sat up, pulling free of Legolas's arms. He murmured a protest, but I spoke over him. "Thank you, Èowyn. If you would tell Dwalin that I'll be along in a couple of minutes, I would be grateful."

"Of course." She curtsied, then left the room.

I started to stand, but Legolas's fingers immediately wrapped around my wrist. "Eda, please don't go."

"Legolas," I sighed, too emotionally drained for the waterworks. "We've been through this. I have to."

"According to who?" he challenged sharply. "Dwalin?"

I gritted my teeth, then settled back onto the bed. "Think it through, Legolas. If I stay...what then?"

His smooth brow furrowed. "We would end the war, then I would marry you. If you would marry me?"

I closed my eyes and rubbed them. This couldn't be happening. Legolas was practically proposing to me, and I had to turn him down.

Screw my life.

"You would be marrying a gutter snipe with a whole orckload of problems to run from," I said bluntly. When Legolas opened his mouth to protest, I interrupted. "Legolas, if I don't go with Dwalin, I can never go home again. There's someone else trying to take the throne, and if I let that happen...they'll want me dead. Even more than they do now. Do you understand? I may not even be safe in Mirkwood."

Legolas's mouth hung open for a moment. "Eda...I would protect you; you know that."

I gently pried his fingers away from my wrist. "I know, but the point is, I would spend the rest of my life running from the past. I will never be free of my heritage; I must either ignore it, or embrace it."

Legolas didn't say anything else as I stood and began gathering my things. My heart throbbed, hating myself for doing this to him. But I had to.

I found almost everything with ease, but my compass, I couldn't find anywhere. "Legolas, do you know where the Foragar is?"

He gave me a blank look.

I sighed. I hated to leave it behind, but Dwalin wouldn't wait for me to find it. After grabbing Haldir's weapons, I was ready to leave, but Legolas still hadn't spoken. Swallowing back the emotion rising in my throat, I said, "Would you see me off?"

Legolas nodded and stood. He wouldn't look at me, but he placed his hand on my shoulder and silently led me out of Èowyn's room. We made our way down the many corridors, finally coming in view of the courtyard, where Dwalin stood with his pony and two horses. One of the horses was saddled, while the other carried supplies. All around, people were gathered to watch us leave.

Legolas gripped my arm before we could go outside. "Eda." I looked up at him, and there were tears in his eyes. "Please don't do this," he begged.

I gritted my teeth, refusing to cry. Not when I was about to face so many people. Standing on my tiptoes, I put my hand behind Legolas's neck and tugged him down into a kiss. He moved his lips against mine pleadingly, putting his arms around my shoulders and holding on tight.