Fractured Fairytales

Chapter 22: Darling You've Got Your Demons

Nicolette:





and, darling, they all look like me

'Cause we had a beautiful magic love there
What a sad beautiful tragic love affair

Distance, timing, breakdown, fighting
Silence, this train runs off its tracks
Kiss me, try to fix it, could you just try to listen?
Hang up, give up, for the life of us we can't get back





"How do I look?"

John grinned, his perfect teeth lighting up his just as perfect face. "Amazing."

I smiled, it was contagious. "Are you sure I don't look fat?" It was a simple question but it was a question I had never had to ask before.

"Of course not," he said, he placed his hands on the small of my waist that was visibly not as small as it had always been. "Your boobs look fantastic."

The boobs that prior to this had barely even been able to fill out a B-cup, were now busting out of my dress. "At least something good comes out of this," I muttered.

"What?" John asked, his perfect eyebrows furrowing together.

I laughed, leaning up and pressing my lips against his. "Nothing, you're perfect."

"You sure?" He asked and looked down at his outfit that was also perfect but hadn't been what I was referring to.

"Positive," I told him, my arms making its way around his neck. His cologne making me a tad bit nauseas.

"You're beautiful," John whispered into my ear, his voice silky and I believed him because he doesn't say things only when he wants things. I believed him because his every word dripped with sincerity.

"So are you," I told him and I meant it.

"Are you ready to go?" He asked.

"As ready as I'll ever be," I told him and I pressed myself against him, trying to see if this boob thing really worked.

"Don't girls usually take longer to get ready?"

"I am not your typical girl," I told him in his ear, soft enough that he had to get even closer to hear me.

"That you are," he breathed and I almost smiled.

"We," I said, and I could practically feel the mascara weighing down my eyelashes. "Don't even really have to go if you don't want."

He pulled back a little bit, not quite getting where I was coming from. "What?"

"We could just stay here," managing to unbutton one of his buttons before he pulled away from me.

"Oh no," he laughed and it was a controlled laugh, a laugh that most boys could never muster when I put them into situations. "We are going."

"John," I whined.

"No, Nikki," he said, his pretty brown eyes now serious. "We have to go."

"We don't have to do anything," I said and it was a direct quote from Adam Roy himself.

"No," he said pointing at me. "You don't have to do anything but I am quarterback and I have to show up, plus these things are always fun."

"Says who," I pouted.

"Says the only person in this room who has actually attended one."

"I've been to one," I argued and he scoffed.

"Your appearances hardly even count," he told me.

"I don't even know why you want me to come with you so badly. You have dozens of girl friends that would dump their dates if you asked them to but no, you had to ask the one junior who doesn't believe in organized events."

"Don't be so scabrous, Nikki," he sighed and if fighting didn't turn me on, then I would have felt bad. "I invited you because you are the only girl I want to dance with."

"Don't be ridiculous, I am a terrible dancer."

He laughed, "True but I love you, so it doesn't matter if you embarrass me or not."

I felt the small of my back tense up and it wasn't just cramps. "What?"

"I said I loved you," he said and he laughed but it was no longer confident. "Don't look so scared."

...................





"He told me he loved me," I casually said as I walked past Josh and Amy on the dance floor.

I kept walking, not expecting an immediate response but I guess I wasn't too surprised when I heard a squeal.

My typical blonde best friend latched on to me with the strength I forgot she had. Her wide blue eyes found my green ones, "We are definitely talking about this later."

I nodded, noting how reluctant she was to leave Josh. "Yes, later," I repeated. "And you look beautiful, Ames."

"Thanks," she said beaming and it scared me just as it scared me to see any of my friends glow over guys.

.....................



"You should dance," I told him as he awkwardly stood next to me. Close enough to feel the distance between us.

"I am not going to leave you here by yourself," he said automatically, his soft brown eyes watching me steadily.

I rolled my eyes. "John, I am a big kid now. You don't have to babysit me."

"But I made you come to this and now I can't just leave you," he said.

"I would appreciate it if you did," I told him and I hadn't realized how it sounded until his pretty face turned not so pretty. I sighed, "What I meant was, I don't want to feel responsible for you having a bad time, go dance. I'll be okay."

"Serious?" He asked and it was reluctant.

"As a heart attack," I said without missing a beat. He kissed me quickly but hard enough to get me going and then he left.

My eyes found Adam and Eliza across the dance floor. Eliza looking classic in a pretty black dress, her red lips pursed and Adam sipping on the punch I had seen him spike only a few seconds before.

I was about to walk over to them before a felt a hand sliding down my back, dangerously close to being PG-13. I turned around, half glad and half annoyed that John had come back.

But there wasn't half of anything when I turned to see Josh, I was a hundred percent pissed.

"Hey," he said in my ear, trying to sound seductive but it came out sleazy and almost laughable.

"I am way too sober for this," I said to myself and turned to find Amy but found John instead.

"Where are you going?" John asked, his eyebrows furrowing and I instantly felt better.

"I need to talk to Amy," I told him and he nodded, smiling but he pulled me close and kissed me again. "I brought you some punch," he said handing me a red cup that almost everyone was downing.

"Adam spiked it," I said and John nodded.

"I know."

"You hate when I drink," and it came out sounding more like a question then a statement.

"I do," he agreed. And I just stood there, waiting for him to elaborate.

He sighed and ran a hand through his short hair. "But you like drinking and I thought that maybe you'd have more fun if you were drinking or at least be more fun."

"I am not drinking," I told him and it was stern, and suddenly I wanted to be anywhere but here.

"What?"

"I don't drink anymore."

"Why not?" He asked, and I couldn't remember how we became secluded from the rest of the student body. Suddenly we were alone and his question held answers that he wasn't ready to hear yet.

"I have my reasons," is all I said.

"You have your reasons," he repeated slowly and I nodded.

"You know, Nikki, I'm really trying."

"What do you mean?"

"I am trying," he said again.

"Trying what?"

"To be okay with this," and his voice rose. "I have been socializing all night, faking smiles, trying to be happy but I can't."

"Why can't you?" I asked, feeling dense,

"Because I just told the girl that I've liked for over a year that I love her and she couldn't even be bothered to respond-"

"I'm pregnant."

Whether his features had frozen or not, I couldn't have told you because I was studying my chipped nails with great detail.

I waited a century for him to answer, my fingers aging before me but he never did. Eventually, he left and I somehow managed to make it back to the dorm.

...........................................







There was a chocolate stash that we had hidden behind one of the boards in the room. A stash that freshmen year had been my Adam stash but I had kept it going, restocking it ever so often just in case one of the girls ever had an emotional breakdown.

I had made my way through three Hershey's, and two snickers bars before my phone started ringing.

"Hello?" I asked, the inside of my mouth coated in chocolate.

"Nikki?" Amy asked her voice high and worried. "Where are you?"

"In the dorm, I didn't feel very well," and it wasn't a total lie.

"Oh," she said. "Well, I found Adam and he's really drunk."

I sighed, "Where is he?"

"Right outside the gym."

"I'll be down there in five," I told her.

"Thanks, because I really don't have any idea what to do and I'm afraid a teacher will find him."

"Thank you for calling me, Ames."

........................

I held him up as much as I could, him stumbling his way into the room and we were barely even inside before he puked.

"Oh God," I said, holding up his arms and taking off his shirt, lying him on my bed. "Why do you always have to do this?" I asked but I was expecting it to be rhetorical.

He mumbled something and it was incoherent from where I was cleaning up his mess. "What did you say?"

"I said," he said, lifting up his beautiful head. "How dare you ask me that?"

I rolled my eyes. "Adam."

"No," he said and his eyes were blood shot but I could still clearly see them in the dark. "Don't say my name."

"What are you talking about-"

"How dare you ask me anything, how dare you talk to me, how dare you say my name when," and he just stopped.

"When what?"

"When you ruin everything," he said and it was soft but it was loud enough for me to hear.

"What are you talking-?"

"We were going to get back together. We always were. It didn't matter if you were fooling around with John or with half the student body because I love you and you love me and we were going to end up together-"

"Adam-" I could hear my heart pounding and it was louder and more real than anything he was saying.

"But you're pregnant."

"What?"

"I heard you."

I didn't say anything and when I found my words. His eyes were already closing and before he completely lost conscience, he said, "You always ruin everything, Nikki."

.................................

"Hello?"

"Nicolette," his words breaking. "I am so sorry. Please sleepover, we need to talk."

I looked at the boy beside me, my boy and pulled the blanket over his chest. "I'm on my way."