Chapter 16
The rest of my day had been spent crying while eating ice cream and watching Netflix.
I now lay on my bed once again, just staring at my laptop screen before me, watching various you tubers. Yesterday was a disaster but the after math of it had led to today. I was still torn from yesterday so that has resulted in a boring and uneventful Sunday. I still couldn't believe the events that had taken place yesterday. For one, I was in disbelief at what Nash had done with me and I was angry at myself for mentioning Shawn. Why was he the only thing on my mind lately? I was so ignorant.
I hadn't texted Shawn back yesterday, so I wasn't surprised when I received a text from him earlier.
UghShawn: hello???
me: sup
UghShawn: nothing, you?
me: laying here
UghShawn: what's wrong Ava??
me: nothing
butthole: I know something is up, those replies are depressing
me: I'm ok
butthole: I will fight the answer out of you
me: leave me alone Shawn
butthole: you don't mean that
me: I probably don't but I just
butthole: I know you probably need space right now.. I'll speak to you tomorrow?
me: sure
thanks
butthole: anytime
I locked my phone and stuffed my face in my pillow, trying to drown out the shouts that had erupted down below in the kitchen. My parents were at it again. Fighting and yelling at each other with no mercy. It had been going on like this for the past few days and it was not fun.
I just wished they could sort out whatever difficulties and problems they had between them and put it behind. It never used to be like this, we used to be a happy family and I don't know what caused it to be torn apart.
I tossed and turned for a little bit, put my laptop away and felt my eyes taking me to a less stressful place, somewhere where I could dream without prejudice and judgement. Images of cities and beautiful skylines appeared in my mind and I felt free for once as I dreamed of a world without these petty troubles.
I woke up with the usual aches and pains in my back and rubbed my eyes while sitting up. I stood up to go to the bathroom and peered into the mirror, a little taken aback at my haggard appearance. My hair was disheveled for sure, but my eyes were puffy, red, and dry from the lack of moisture. My tears had all dried out, leaving a broken image of me staring into the depths of a mirror who could only produce the results of reality. There was no room for imagination in a mirror, it simply reflected back the truth.
I quickly got ready, simply slipping on a hoodie and jeans, not feeling productive enough to make an effort for school. But when did I ever try for school?
I got into my car, feeling a little thankful for the rain because it had caused the air around to become humid and warm instead of super chilly. I plugged in some music and began the short route to school, adoring the fog and the clouds in the sky today. Rainy days somehow were always my favorite.
I walked into school, staring at the ground, sort of ashamed as if everyone knew what had happened between Nash and I. Of course, he hasn't told anybody, I'm sure that would only hurt his reputation. But it still somehow felt like that something awful was going to happen, even worse than what had already occurred.
