I'm Not That Innocent

It's A Small World

For the best of two weeks I had been ignoring him, trying to erase him from my life, forget I ever cared. Yet there he was stood in front of me. As he stepped into my hall the walls around me began to close in, each and every step trapping me more. My throat tightened and my heartbeat grew scarce as Matt stopped in front of me. His eyes were pleading with me to let him back into my life, my hard work was undone instantly how could I put on this pretence any longer?

I needed him and he knew it, Jase and Thomas didn't matter to me but he did. Looking into his eyes my icy facade began to melt away. Matt had made me feel so special and wanted; then only a week later he had betrayed me. Upon remembering this I began to compose myself, the dull stinging on my heart started again. My head and heart were in turmoil. My head warned me stay away but my heart wanted me to be with him, he was my happily ever after.

Matt's mouth opened as if he wanted to speak but I didn't even want to listen. Before he could even utter a word I turned and stormed into the living room. There was no way I could listen to yet more pathetic begging, a drink on the other hand was something I could do with. As if she could read my mind Becky appeared next to me glass in hand. That was why I loved my best friend so much she knew me so well.

"You look like you've seen a ghost," she whispered.

"You could say that," I muttered before gratefully accepting the drink.

Much to my surprise I managed to down the drink in one. As I gulped for breath I remembered the reason that everyone was here, Jase. Stupid Matt had made me forget all about my plan, I certainly wasn't going to put it off just because he had the cheek to show up. I slammed my glass down on the table and marched over to Jase.

Leaning down I purred as seductively as I could "Fancy a dance?"

His eyes lit up as I grabbed his hand and pulled him up. I felt Jase's arms wrap around my waist as he pulled me close. Dancing with him just felt so wrong when my heart was longing for Matt. I tried to snap myself out of it, I really did, but my thoughts kept wandering to Matt. Briefly, my mind left Matt when I felt something poke me. My dancing must have been very...appetising to Jase? My hand was lacking a drink so I needed to fix it. I pushed Jase away from me and strode away from him not even looking back.

To my disappointment Matt was stood at the table, which early had only three bottles on but now was covered with different liqueurs and alcoholic substances.

"Before you start. This is a party, get drunk, dance, make out, have fun. Do what the hell you like, just stay outta my way, got that?" I hissed as I scouted the vodka bottle. He had to think that I didn't care, he couldn't know how much his being here was making my heart bleed.

"Why have you been ignoring me? I wanted to explain, obviously I was just wasting my time cos you seem pretty cosy with that jerk that treated you like trash. Is that what you want me to do Aimes?"

"Well it seems that you already did when you were kissing that slut. Or did you forget that? Cos I haven't. Just get outta my way Matt, stay outta my life and I'll be fine and dandy," I spat.

To be honest, it surprised me I was able to act so heartless and unaffected towards Matt. There was nothing I wanted more than to have him hold me in his arms, but he'd already proven he wasn't trustworthy. My head was going to have to rule my heart on this matter.

"She kissed me. Alexa is just an ex, that's all. Just talk to me Aimes please," he begged.

"I am talking to you. And I'm telling you to leave me alone. So be a good boy won't you and listen to what I'm telling you," I huffed and barged away from the table.

This was just the way things had to be, as painful as it was for me, it was the best way. Once my mission of destroying Jase was over I'd be able to forget about boys and just go back to being me. No Jase, no Thomas and no Matt. Maybe I'd travel. Maybe I'd move away. Maybe I'd become a lesbian. Okay, maybe not that last one but I'm not ruling it out. No boys in my life would be a good thing, surely?

A hand waving in front of my face brought me back to reality.

"Aimes, you okay? You completely zoned out there. Like completely off into la la land or summat," Becky chirped.

"Hmmm. Yeah fine. Drink?" I offered her the bottle of vodka I realised was clamped in my fist.

She shook her head adamantly, "Designated driver. Taking one for the team!" she laughed.

My best friend sure was crazy. Bless her. Becky had been there for me so much in the last two weeks I really couldn't wish for a better friend. She'd been there cursing all boys with me. She'd been there crying at the soppy bitch flicks (chick flicks) with me. She'd been there with me eating enough junk food to give someone a heart condition. She'd been there reminiscing about when we were young and carefree. Not once did she leave my side. I think my parents accepted that she had practically moved in, they didn't really have a choice though.

"I'm not just saying this cos of the alcohol. But I love you Becky you really are my best friend," I grinned.

"And I love you too. Now get out there and destroy some boys," she cheekily winked.

So I did.

My first resort obviously was Jase but I found he had his hands full, very full, with a busty blonde. So much for him asking me to but his girlfriend, at that moment I couldn't care less. I decided to forget mission Jase and just have a good night. Just be a teenage girl, not a teenage on a mission! I know I change my mind alot! The bottle of vodka in my hand got lighter as the night went on and my head got lighter. Nothing was gonna stop me though I just carried on dancing like I didn't give a damn!

******

I awoke in my bed. Naked. There wasn't anything unusual about that, well there wouldn't have been if it wasn't for the masculine arm that was snaked over me.  I had to do a double take to make sure my eyes weren't deceiving me. A naked guy in my bed! Shit! This really wasn't good.