I'm Not That Innocent

Epilogue

‘Just stay calm’ that’s what I told myself as I stood waiting for my cue. My hands were shaking slightly as the nerves rushed through my body. My stomach felt like it was doing somersaults and I could feel a slight sweat building on my brow. In my head I imagined myself running away and screaming but I had to be strong. This day would be one that would affect me for the rest of my life.

I linked my arm through my father’s and gave him a beaming smile; he really did look smart in his black tux.

“You look beautiful, honestly Aimee. Just remember that no matter what you will always be my little girl. I love you princess,” he whispered his voice breaking as he did so.

I squeezed his arm in an attempt to reassure him, I was too choked up to reply. The music started and I began to step forward. I tried to keep in time with the music but I stumbled a few times. At last the doors before us opened and I saw everybody stood up. Absolutely everyone was here, faces from the past and present. Every single pair of eyes was on me as I made my way slowly past them. After what seemed like an eternity I made it to the altar, to the man that I loved.

“You look stunning Aimes,” he said softly.

My eyes began to tear up, but these weren’t tears of hurt and sadness. These were tears of joy, I was about to marry the most important person in my life.

“Aimes, I love you I really do. You are everything to me, without you I wouldn’t be able to survive. You are my world. Never in a million years did I think I’d find a soul mate as perfect as you. Each and every day that I spend with you reminds me of how I’m the luckiest guy in the world. Your smile lights up my life. I don’t need anyone else now that I have you, I will be faithful to you until the end. I will provide for you and treat you like the princess you are. I want to make you feel as lucky as I do, honesty Aimee I’m blessed to have you in my life. I love you more than anything and I can’t wait to call you Mrs Barton.”

“So how does it feel to be called Mrs Barton now? Who would have thought ten years ago you’d be marrying Harvey’s brother?” Becky laughed.

“Well not me that’s for sure,” I replied as I sipped on my champagne. I had to remain ladylike on my wedding day; I couldn’t turn into a drunken mess so I was sticking to three glasses of Champers. Inside I was dying for some shots but I just had to fight the urge. Haywood Manor was a posh place so they wouldn’t approve of my intoxication.

“You tryna say there’s summat wrong with my bro Becky?” Harvey teased.

“Calm down children,” I giggled.

“She started it Babycakes,” Harvey pouted.

“Pffft! Okay then Harvey,” Becky retorted.

“I’m going to go mingle guys. If it gets any more serious here then take it outside, I don’t fancy having to split you two up,” I joked before heading across the reception room.

After chit chatting with various relatives, colleagues and friends I wanted to do nothing more than find my husband. I tried scouting him across the beautifully decorated room but I couldn’t see him anywhere. I had to grin to myself when I glanced around at all the people that were here with us celebrating our love. As I searched I saw something that made my breath catch in the back of my throat. Time stood still as I found his brown eyes gazing into mine. My grip loosened on my glass and I felt it fall from my hand. The shatter of the glass sliced through the air and brought me out of my daze.

“Shit,” I sighed as I tried to survey the damage. Luckily my ivory dress was untouched.

“Hon you okay?” a voice beside me asked.

“Of course I am. I’ve just married my soul mate. It was just me being dozy you know what I’m like,” I grinned.

As he pulled me into a warm embrace I couldn’t help but feel uneasy. Surely I had been seeing things, hadn’t I? I tried to push the thought out of my mind and enjoy the rest of my night. After all the dancing I was warm so I decided to slip out into the garden.

On the way out I saw something that nearly made me throw up. Becky and Harvey were drunkenly making out in the hall way, they were going to be two very embarrassed people in the morning. Out in the open, the stars twinkled in the deep black sky, the only source of light being the lanterns scattered around the vast garden. The silence gave me a chance to think about the day’s events. Just the thought of Lee brought a huge grin to my face.

“Wow look at you Aimes,” a voice from behind me whispered.

As I turned to face them my heart stopped beating. How was this possible?

“Matt?” I questioned. I had to be dreaming surely? There was no way that Matt was here on my wedding day; the same Matt that I had ran away from only ten years before. My mouth went dry as I tried to think of a possible reason for his sudden appearance. This was supposed to be a happy day, the first day of the rest of my life. Instead I found myself faced with the guy that had torn my heart in two.

“What are you doing here?” I croaked.

“I came to see you Aimes,” he replied as he shuffled from foot to foot.

He came to see me? What the hell did that mean? I thought that I had made it obvious all those years ago that I wanted nothing more to do with him,usually that’s the conclusion normal people would come to when you ignore their texts, calls and change your number. Apparently Matt wasn’t a normal person. It was even more apparent with the fact that he had chosen to ‘come and see me’ on the day of my wedding.

“Why Matt? What do you want from me? The past is the past let’s just leave it there and never go back again. There is nothing more to say,” I reasoned.

“Aimes, stop being so god damn stubborn for just one minute and listen to me. I never forgot you, you know? There’s never been a day when I don’t think of you. I’ve missed you so much. And when Lee invited me to the wedding, I just had to come. I just had to see you,” he explained.

I rubbed my forehead with my hand trying to make sense of it all and ease the throbbing that had built up in my temple.

“You broke my heart you know that. You told me you’d wait for me but by that point you’d already got that skank knocked up! Do you know how long I was in pieces because of you?” I shouted trying to stop my quivering lip.

“Aimes, I wasn’t with her then. She had got pregnant when we were together, before I ended it for you. That day you just saw me helping her out, I had to stand by my child. Otherwise what kinda father would that make me?” he asked.

“Well, congratulations for being a man and standing up to your responsibilities, but it doesn’t change anything. When I was with you I felt complete, like nothing could break me down. I truly loved you. You breaking my heart made me realise that I wasn’t really in love with Jase just the idea of Jase. Because when you broke my heart it was raw and bitter, it was a dark throbbing that I never want to feel again. You were my first love Matt so I will always remember you, but that’s all I want you to be. A memory. Now please just go, don’t make this harder than it already is.”

"Before I go I just want to wish you all the best. That should have been me up there," he added before leaving.

As I lay in bed that night wrapped up in my new husband’s arms I felt truly content. No longer was I carrying a chip on my shoulder, I was free of all my demons. I finally had closure to move on with my life and forget the past. And that was exactly what I intended to do.

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