Chapter Seven

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(Linked a song to the side 'cause I've slowly fallen in love with it over the week)

I knocked on Fin's door and heard a muffled, "Come in."

Fin instantly straightened up when he saw me. "Hey, what's up?"

"You smoke?" I asked, noticing the cigarette between his fingers.

He chuckled. "Don't look so surprised."

He was in his bed, sheets lazily covering only a few pieces of him.

"Why wouldn't I be surprised? First the piercing, then this?"

He rolled his eyes. "You don't know me."

I didn't.

It was strange because for a second there it did feel like I'd known Fin for a long time.

In reality, I didn't. I knew nothing.

"I want to," I said.

He looked away, placing the rolled up paper in his mouth and inhaling.

He leaned in and blew smoke at my face.

I coughed, waving the smoke away. "What the hell?"

He laughed. "Sorry, I wanted to see how you'd react."

I felt dejected. "Look, about this morning-"

"I'll do it," he said. "Whatever it takes to help you."

"Really?"

"Yeah," he said. "Of course."

"What changed your mind?"

He shrugged. "You. I just have to work on my self control, but it's worth it if it helps you."

"Fin, stop with all this self control bullshit. You don't have to control yourself against anything."

"You're straight, right?"

"What does this-?"

"Okay, so imagine having a naked girl in your bed the entire night. You can't have her because she's asleep and you can't sleep so there's nothing you can do but watch her or stare at walls. I think you'd rather watch her."

Warmth traveled down my body. "I don't sleep naked."

"I know, but believe me, it amounts to the same feeling."

"But, why?"

He shrugged, smoking again. "Does it matter? It's a feeling, not a Calculus equation."

"Fin, are you sure?"

"No," he said. "I can't promise you anything, and I want you to know that this isn't permanent. Just for your experiment thing."

"Thank you," I said. "I mean it. And somehow, I'll make it up to you."

He waved me off. "There's nothing I want that I can have anyway."

"Maybe not now, but you never know what the future holds."

"True," he said, pressing his cigarette against an ash tray.

How come I never noticed before?

"When did you start smoking?" I asked.

"About a year ago."

"Why?" I asked. "It's disgusting."

"Why does one do anything?"

I sighed. "This isn't English class."

"I didn't say it was."

"Just answer me, please," I said.

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