For The Dollars Or The Love

Honesty Hour

After that incident at school I've mostly stayed to myself with the exception of my friends. It's the same routine, go to school, go home, and then go to work. Chris has been a big help with Symphony. If he's not handling street business he's with her while I work. If we're both busy she stays with Ms. Dorothy or Jamal and his parents. Speaking of them I should go see them some time. But right now I'm spending time with my babies.

"Wheeeeeeee! Do it again Daddy." I laugh as Symphony yells for Chris to toss her up, and catch her when she comes down. I love seeing their bond, I've noticed that Symphony actually looks a lot like Chris. Like she could legit pass for his child. I always wondered why he took to her so quick. I'll ask him about it later on.

I was bombarded by two bodies hitting me from each side knocking me to the soft ground.

"We got you Mommy." Symphy giggled hugging my neck. I laughed as she loved me with all the love she had in her little body.

"You sure did." I smiled sitting up. After a few more minutes at the park it was time to pack up and go home. Tonight we were staying at Chris' place. His one bedroom condo was now a two bedroom since he moved to a new one. After dinner I gave Symphony a bath Chris got her ready for bed. I sat in his room playing one of his many games until he came back. I felt a dip in the bed, Chris is back.

"Lil Bit's down for the count." He spoke getting in bed with me. I saved the game before turning it off so I could get comfortable with Chris. I rolled into his arms laying face to face with him.

"Why are you so good with her, with me, with us?" I ask gesturing between he and I when I say us. I feel him shrug his shoulders.

"I don't know. I guess cause when I had the chance to be a father it was taken from me."

"What do you mean?"

"When I was about seventeen my girlfriend at the time got pregnant. I was excited, like I was happy about being a dad. But she wasn't happy about being a mom. She kept saying being pregnant was gonna mess up her body, we weren't gonna be able to provide for a baby, and a bunch of other nonsense. Like she knew I was in the game so money was no issue. I finally convinced her to keep the baby, or at least I thought I had. When I woke up that morning she was gone the only thing she left was a note saying she would see me nine months later. I thought she was just going to get herself together while she had the baby, but the day the baby was supposed to be here she showed up at my door with no baby. She had got an abortion the day she left me. She had my hopes up for nothing." He held me closer to him as he spoke.

"Mia that was my seed. I created that baby, and her selfish ass took it away just like that. I was so pissed I threw all the baby stuff I bought away. Ironically it was all pink because I just knew in my heart it was gonna be a girl. My little one would be Symphony's age right now getting ready to turn four in two months. She took all of my baby's first anything away from me. That's why I'm the way I am with Symphony. I feel like I get to be the father to her that I never got to be to my kid."

I knew he was serious because he never says Symphony's name he always calls her Lil Bit. He really wanted to be a father.

"You loved her didn't you?" I ask referring to his ex.

"I did, but what she did to me made me never want to be in a relationship again. And then I met you."

"Me?" I asked wide eyed.

"Yeah. The day I met you at my aunt and uncle's house I just got attracted to you. Like you were pulling me in. Then that night you got attacked at the club, and I found out who you were. That's what really made me want you. You keep this act up like you don't need anybody, but for that moment I saw who you really were. Just a scared girl that got thrown into this world who needed somebody to protect her. And I wanted, no I needed to be the one to do that. You asked why I'm so good with you. This is why. It's what you need, and what I need too. I need to be good for you. To the streets I'm Breezy, but the minute I get with Lil Bit I'm daddy, the best one ever if you ask her. With you I'm just Chris, and I like that. I told you before y'all are my family. I never really had one of my own. It was just me and my mom. Yeah I had Jamal, and my aunt and uncle, but that's not my immediate family."

I felt his body shaking next to me. He's crying, I wrapped my arms around him as he continued telling me how story.

"That's why I go so hard for Lil Bit, for you, for us. Y'all the only thing I got that's really mine right now. Don't take that away from me Mia. Please?"

He sobbed out begging me not take us away from him.

"Please, I need y'all like y'all need me. Don't take that away from me." He begged again.

I unwrapped my arms from around him, and scrambled to sit in his lap. I reached out grasping his face in my hands. His arms gripped my waist holding me there.

"Christopher, Chris, baby." I said trying to get his attention since he has his eyes closed. He opened them finally looking at me, tears still running down his face.

"I could never take that bond you have with Symphony away from you. She loves you too much for me to just rip you two away from each other like that. I'm not going anywhere either."

He pulled me tighter to him, our heads together with us still looking at each other. I dropped my hands from his face, and draped my arms over his shoulders.

"You're right. I am a scared little girl, but I was so guarded with outsiders. Somehow you got past that, and gained my trust. I've never been in a relationship like this. This is all new to me, it's a learning experience for both of us. I'm learning what a real relationship is, and you're learning that you don't have to be Breezy all the time. Just Chris is perfect for me and Symphy. You don't have to try to be good for us, you are good for us. Look where I am."

I gesture to me being in his bed, in his lap, in his condo. He smiles knowing what I'm referring to.

"If I didn't think you were good for us we wouldn't be here. This is us, this is our family. For a while now we've been searching for a home, and I think we found it. You're home for us Chris, and you never leave or forget your home. So trust me when I say I'm all in with you."

I wiped his tears away, and he used the pad of his thumb to wipe away tears that I didn't even know I shed. He cradled my face in his hand then slowly brought my face to his. He kissed me gently almost as if I'd break if he would had been a bit rougher. I guess the fear of me being fragile died down, because the kiss intensified. His lips devoured mines my breath becoming shorter and shorter with each kiss. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and let my fingers tangle themselves in his shaggy blonde hair deepening the kiss even more. God if this is who you picked to make my child and I happy, thank you.