For The Dollars Or The Love

Not A Date

I've missed two days of work because I'm healing from the damage of Draylon hitting me. Symphony's at school, so is Jamal, guess I'll go bother that yellow nigga. After knocking a few times he answered the door, shirtless at that, damn he looked good.

"You gone come in ma, or stare at my body?" I came back to my senses.

"Yeah I'll come in, I gotta talk to you anyway." I sit in on the couch as he sits across from me, last time I was here he saved me from the bouncer at the club-Sly fired that nigga by the way- and I ended up telling him about my life. Now I'm telling him something else. Lord be with me as I say what I'm about to say.

"So what's up?" He asked. Sweet baby Jesus he looks good, his body is just glistening. Get it together Caramia.

"Thank you, ya know for everything. Being a father to Symphony, helping me, and worrying about me."

"Mia, I've told you before..."

"I wasn't done." I said cutting him off. "Thank you for coming into my life, and Symphony's when you did. I know you feel something for me, and....um I feel it too. If I'd gotten to know you this way before I got to know Draylon that way I'd try being with you."

"Then try it."

"I can't, you know that. I have to be faithful to him."

"Faithful my ass!" He yelled making me jump. "Mia that nigga putting his hands on you, you don't need that."

"It's only been twice." I lied.

"You should have been gone the first time he did it!" I stood up, I'm not a damn child, and he ain't gonna talk to me like one. He stood up too getting closer to me.

"I'm not listening to this I'm going home!" He got closer again, soon we were body to body. Him looking at me, me looking away.

"Ma look at me." I still didn't, he used his finger to guide my face to his. He bent slightly, and put his forehead to mines. "Stop fighting me Mia, all I wanna do is show you that, that nigga don't deserve you." His breath brushed against my face as he spoke.

"And you do?"

"I could."

"I can't do that to him Chris I lo..." He kissed my lips silencing me. I gave in to the kiss savoring it even though it was a chaste one.

"Nah, love doesn't hurt you, love don't bruise up your body like that. That's not love baby. Even though you've never experienced real love you know that it's not what he does to you." I didn't respond, I didn't know how to.

"Let me show you real love." Again his lips sought mines, I followed suit giving them to him. I didn't wanna pull away, I just wanted to melt in his touch, and let him consume me. "You feel that, that quickening in your heart beat, and breath? That's what's it's like all the time with real love." I backed away falling on to the couch.

"Why you running? You scared ma? I ain't him, c'mere." He pulled me off the couch back in front of him, he was now sitting on the couch pulling me into his lap. He latched on to my neck sucking, biting, and nipping at it. Then his lips were on mines again, what are you doing Cara? Snap out of it! I tried pulling away, he only pulled me closer. I finally pushed hard enough for him to stop. He looked at me still in his lap, why were his eyes so captivating.

"Chris can you respect that I have somebody even though we both feel this way."

"Baby I do respect that, what I don't respect is him putting his hands on you." I pushed past him, and left. I can't do this. I get a text from Alexis, she's the homie now if you didn't know. Guess I'll hang with her, and Jamal since school's out now.

"Spill it bitch." Jamal says as we all sit in the food court of the mall.

"Spill what?" I ask truly not knowing what he's talking about.

"Your ass been around my cousin more than you been around me, even my Symphy be with him. What's up with y'all?"

"We're friends, he looks out for me." I say leaving out the part about us feeling some type of way about each other. Alexis scoffed.

"Girl please," She spoke. "I saw that lil blush, shit I prefer him over Draylon." Damnit not again. I looked to Jamal for help, but he was flirting with some dude. " I know you tired of me bad mouthing him, but you weren't with him as long as I was. He's gonna hurt you boo, and I don't wanna see that happen. It's not jealousy, I just wanna look out for you."

"I know." I sighed, I ain't in the mood to fight her, and I can see that her heart is in the right place. Besides Casadee I've never had a female friend. I should probably listen to Alexis, but I've never known anybody except Jamal to have my best interest. Maybe I should give Alexis a break.

Dray: I'm sorry about hitting you.

I ignored his text, I have a lot to think about. And right now I don't need him clouding my thought process.

Chris: I'm gone prove to you that what ole boy showing you ain't real love. I know you not working so I'm taking you out.

Now how in the hell he gone decide for me.

Me: Uh no you're not, I have to watch Symphy.

Chris: Yes I am, mama Dorothy said she'd watch her for me.

Me: I'm not getting out of this am I?

Chris: *Clicks tongue* nah!

Well I guess I'm going out with Chris, I'm afraid. I shouldn't be doing this, I should be making things right with Draylon. It's not a date Cara don't make it something it's not. I'll just have to ignore my feelings for Chris during the whole whatever we're doing.