I am Nothing

CONLAN POV: GREAT TRAGEDY

A/N: Will be posted on both stories due to insight needed later

CONER POV TWO DAYS AFTER ASH'S DISAPPEARANCE

With Liam gone feral, Conlan locked in there with him, and Ash disappearing it was two days before I remembered an important factor. And it took soft sobs coming from the library to remind me. Being distracted was no excuse. I'm the Alpha for crying out loud.

...................

I walk into the library looking for books on Liam's condition. I make it halfway across the library when I hear it. Tilting my head to the side I follow my hears to the window seat. I pull back the curtain to see woman, looking at me with wide eyes as tears slid down her cheeks. She is so upset that she's shifting from her human shape to her fey shape. Her hair is bright pink and her eyes are cotton candy blue when in her fey form. It's very interesting. I feel my stomach clinch when she blinks up at me. I don't know why I do it but I crouch down and place hand on her cheek.

"Are you okay?" She blinks but doesn't answer me nor does she pull away from my touch. She isn't my mate, I know that. Riki's mother had been my everything but she hadn't been either. My mate would only come after two great tragedies. My gift or foresight had told me that and I hadn't had the second tragedy yet nor did I know what it was. The first had been Riki's mother. But this girl's vulnerability calls to me like nothing else could.

"I'm Alpha Coner but you can call me Coner." Her voice is soft, hesitant.

"Cesi, Conlan calls me Cesi." Fresh tears slide down her face as I remember her name. She's Conlan and Liam's half-sister and I had completely forgotten about her arrival. She must me devastated and no one had remembered she was even here. I rub my thumb across her cheek.

"Don't cry Cesi. I'm doing all I can to help your brothers and find Ash and the boys." She eyes me warily before nodding hesitantly. I smile at her trust as I stand up and move my hand from her cheek to hold it out in front of her. She smiles shly then places her small hand in mine.

RIGHT BEFORE CONER SENDS LIAM AND CONLAN AFTER ASH

I walk into my bedroom and pull my shirt over my head just as Cesi walks out of my shower. She holds a towel to her chest as she looks me up and down. I growl as lust fills her eyes and I shake a finger at her.

"None of that. You promised me a picnic. We can play later." She giggles and nods then drops her towel. And I help her get her clothes on for a few hours. By the time we;re heading out for the picnic it's almost night. As I hold her hand in mine I can't help but smile. She and I had grown close since that fateful day in the library. She didn't seem to care that she wasn't my mate and neither did I. We were happy as we were, for now but I couldn't help feeling like something terrible was about to happen. Obilvious to my sad thoughts she flounces down on the blanket I've spread out as she starts pulling food from the basket. I smile softly as I sit down beside her.

"You know, I don't understand how the mate thing works in real life but I thought he'd be going crazy for Ash by now no matter how upset he is about Liam." Jerking upright I lean forward and press my lips to hers. When I pull bak she's blinking up at me. "What was that for? Not that I'm complaining." I laugh and hug her to me before leaping to my feet.

"Beautiful Cesi. I know how to get Liam and Conlan back. Thanks to your beautiful brain. Can we continue this tomorrow same time?" She laughs at my words and makes a shooing gesture.

"Go fix my brothers Mister Alpha." Nodding I run towards the house.

...............

I'm whistling as I walk into the backyard the next day. Cesi's idea had worked like a charm and both men were with Ash now as well as my daughter. It seemed Ash has went into labor. I told Riki I'd be there in a few hours but had given her instructions on how to deliver just in case. First I wanted to finish my picnic. I hadn't seen Cesi since yesterday due to a problem that had come up at the club and I need to see her sweet face before I headed over to Ash's.

I walk faster across the backyard as Cesi falls into my line of sight. She's fluttering a few inches above the ground in front of the forest as she sings softly to herself. My chest aches watching her this happy. I stiffen when something appears out of the corner of my eye. I'm running even as I scream her name but I'm too late. The bear shifter leaps on top of her and rips her throat out before rumbling into the forest. I want to go after the bear but I can't leave Cesi. Falling to the ground I reach out and pull her into my arms as Gremlin runs out to me. He pales as he sees Cesi gasping for air but he knows what I know. She's dieing.

"Get that fucking bear." He nods sharply and takes off into the woods as I look back to Cesi. I place my hand on her face and try not to see the blood. So much blood. She blinks at me as she smiles weakly.

"I'm glad...glad I had this time with you. Your a good man Coner be happy and tell...tell my brothers the same." She spasms as blood gushes faster from the wound in her throat but she's fey and half fey at that. The blood loss and the fact that half her throat was missing couldn't be fixed. Her eyes flutter as she speaks one last time. "I love you Coner." Then the light fades from her eyes and I feel myself breaking inside. Twice this has happened to me. The first rejected me out of shame the second ripped from my arms. I stand as Gremlin comes back.

"I couldn't find it. I'm sorry Alpha." Aware of the blood on my hands I nod sharply.

"You know what I have to do Gremlin?" He understands what I'm not saying and nods.

"I do Alpha."

"Gather the pack. It's begun. I'll send off Cesi's spirit after I send a message to Riki. She's with Ash."

"Riki?" Warmth floods the bond and I catch glimpses of Ash's face.

"Yes Daddy?"

"I can't come. I'm sorry but Cesi's dead." I feel her shock and her comfort as she speaks.

"I'm sorry Daddy. I'll tell them after Ash has the babies. I love you."

"Love you too sweetie." Then I shut off our bond as tears stream down my face.