Too Close for Comfort • jdb ( #wattys2016 )

(32) Second Chances Part II

(32) Second Chances Part II
Mary

This has to be a dream.

Some sick, twisted, dairy infused dream that ends with me waking up back in Paris, on my $11,000 silk sheets, this whole event being erased from my memory in a matter of mere seconds.

But sadly, as hard as I pinch myself until the skin on my wrist turns blue, or rub my eyes to shield from any type of hallucination, I can't seem to shake the feeling of my world shattering around me.

His voice. That beautiful voice. It's all I could think about as I walk down the streets of Moulin Rouge, the sound of his music blasting through the speakers.

I knew Justin was famous now. I mean, how could I not when all I see in any type of newspaper is him being nominated for another award. I've always wondered if he'd moved on. I don't like to think about it too much though. The very feeling of him with someone else makes my skin crawl.

But now here he is.

In all his beautiful glory, on that stage, doing what he does best.

An unexpected tear trickles down my cheek  and I quickly wipe it off.

No. No crying. You're done crying over guys that have screwed you over. Just go out there and do what you do best.

Too bad what I've known to do best is love him.

Ok ok just get through this and you'll be fine.

"Mary!" Gavin shouts, while lightly pushing me forward. "you're up!"

Well, it's now or never.

I stand up straight as I position myself for the walk through. I watch as Alessandra makes her way down, and backstage as the the beat comes for me to do the same. I sigh and with all the confidence I could muster in me, walk onto the platform.

His hair is longer, and thicker, blonder even. I hear the cheering of people in the crowd as I turn and see mom, Olivier, and Suki, all with horrified expressions on their faces that just about matched what I was feeling inside.

With the huge pearly white smile I've kept on my face the whole time, I stretch out my arms and sashay down the catwalk, my heels clinking underneath me.

"I know you're afraid of what this might do.."

He sings as I close my eyes, his beautiful voice engulfing me in one raw moment of remembrance after another.

I think back to the first time I heard this song, on the radio while in the town at going to one of Olivier's shows.

I remember crying so hard, all the eye makeup on my face dripped down my cheeks, making it look like a coyote with ink stained paws was clawing at my cheeks.

No matter how much I've tried to erase him from my mind, move on, tell myself he was only a speed bump, the truth is he's still all I've ever wanted and more. And when I see him, here, as delectable as ever, all that want comes rushing back.

Don't turn around. Don't turn around, Justin. Just keep singing. Don't make this harder than it has to be.

I walk all the way up to the front as I see Justin at the edge of the stage. He's singing to a couple fans which makes me breath a sigh of relief that he won't possibly turn around and see me.