Troubled

15: Confusion.

Megan Crawford.
Wednesday, July 21th 2015.
16:15.

Josh called me that day.

I was surprised, since I had not really seen him since that afternoon when he had gone to my house. He told me that he wanted to meet up with me and talk, and I spent a bit too much time thinking about what I would wear.

Now I was in a coffee shop with him, wearing a red blouse that showed off my curves, black jeans and brown boots, and wondering if I had done a good enough work on my clothes. Even when I told myself that I did not have feelings for Josh anymore, I could not explain why I wanted to look good for him.

But no matter how obvious it was that I wanted him to see me as more than a friend, he never noticed. He just spoke about Eliza and how amazing she was, how much better she was than me, as well as smarter and more beautiful.

"Eliza made this joke the other day, she's just hilarious," Josh said now as he took a sip from his coffee and shook his head, a small smile resting on his lips. I raised my eyebrows but did not speak as he added, "I would tell you, but you had to be there."

I nodded my head to pretend that I was listening to him. But I was just wondering what Kyle was doing at the moment. Maybe he was smoking somewhere in an alley, perhaps he had a novel on his hands as he sat on his living room.

I had seen Kyle earlier in The Book Escape. He had asked me how I was as soon as I saw him and I had told him that I was much better and thanked him for worrying. Then, he had talked to me about this book he had been reading that was just amazing. I had assured him that I would check it out.

"Oh, Megan!" Josh said, making me push my thoughts to the side and turn my head up to look at him. He had a look of enthusiasm on his expression and I wondered what this was about. "I forgot to tell you about this band I want to see!"

"Really?" I spoke before taking my mug up to my lips. At first I assumed that he just wanted to tell me about someplace he would attend. But then, when I realized that he was inviting me, I became fascinated with this band of his. If this was an excuse to spend time with Josh, then I was listening.

He explained, "There's this coffeehouse in New York. Bands are performing there all the time and a really good one will be there this weekend, they're called Creation. Eliza and I are going, and you should too! It's been a long time since you and I have spent time together and I'd love for you to be there."

I was quite flattered that he wanted me there. I nodded my head, even when I knew nothing about this band of his and was sure I would not even love their music as much as he seemed to. I expressed in an excited tone, "That sounds amazing! But are you sure you want me there when you could be alone with Eliza?"

"Not at all, many of our classmates are going too," Josh assured me as he waved me off in a dismissive manner and gave me a wide grin. "You should tell Blake and Violet too! You all could take the subway to New York on Saturday for the concert."

I could not believe that he was so glad that I was going. It made me feel marvelous to know that he cared if I was around. I could feel butterflies in my stomach because of him. Even though I told myself I was not in love with Josh anymore, in that moment, my heart told me otherwise.

But then, someone had to ruin this feeling of bliss for me.

"Hi there!" the voice came from behind me, and it was a familiar one. I turned around to find Ava standing there, with a fake smile on her expression and a muffin on her hand. I tried my best not to roll my eyes at how obvious it was that she was not actually happy to see us.