Troubled

12: Screaming and Fighting.

Megan Crawford.
Tuesday, July 14th 2015.
18:27.

Josh was standing on my front porch.

I had not expected anyone to be at my house, I was wearing white pajama shorts and a pink sweatshirt. I should have felt shame, after all he was staring at me when I looked my worst. But that was not what I was thinking about. I was wondering what he needed, he had not even called me before arriving. He had just showed up out of nowhere.

I was standing there, with the doorknob in my hand and an expression of pure surprise. I frowned at him and asked in a dazed and confused tone that made him laugh out at me, "Josh, what are you doing here?"

"Hi to you too, Megan. It has been a while," he chuckled. Then, he gave me a quick hug and a brief kiss on my cheek before he waved me off to let him walk inside the house. I was hesitant because I still was not sure of what he wanted, but I allowed him to come into my home. I watched him make his way towards the living room and sit down on the green chair.

"Megan, I think I am in love."

With Eliza, of course. I was not impressed with this confession and I nodded my head as I walked towards him. I sat down on a blue chair across from him, the wooden coffee table between us, and I crossed my arms over my chest. I said in a voice of fake excitement, "That is so amazing, I am really glad you and Eliza are finally happening. You have been wanting this for so long, it was about time you two were together."

"I still have to ask her to be my girlfriend," Josh said with a small smile playing on his lips as he looked down at his hands.  "We have been in a few dates and everything, but I still have not even kissed her. Since she just broke up with her former boyfriend a few weeks ago, I think she wants to take things slow."

"I understand where she is coming from," I told Josh as I nodded my head at him. "If you really want this to work, you should wait. Good things take time and you should wait for the perfect moment."

I was reminded of the day before with Kyle, when he had tried to kiss me. It was not that I did not want him to, because hell, who would say no to someone as attractive as him? But it was because I did not want us to rush into anything, he was the only boy that had proved to be able to change for the better and to show me that he was actually great.

"I will," Josh assured me. He sighed and ran his hands through his brunet hair, which I realized was longer than the last time I had seen him. "But I have to tell you, it feels so good to have her notice me after years of wanting her. I was just a friend to her, but I finally took her on a date and showed her how much I really care about her. You do not know what it was like to see her with someone else."

I faked a smile. I could think of someone that had been in the exact same position, and that someone was me. It made me mad to hear him speak that way, as if what I had felt did not matter at all and my feelings were not important. But I bit my tongue and held back everything I wanted to say, I had to be strong and listen to him talk about that wonderful girl he loved so much, his words not mine.

"And when are you going to ask Eliza to be your girlfriend?" I wondered as I tried my best to seem glad that he had finally gotten the girl of his dreams. But I could not care less about his love life at the moment, all that mattered to me was mine. I wanted to brag to him about the boy that paid attention to me and that wanted me. I wanted to bring up Kyle, just to make Josh jealous.

"I am not sure, to be honest," Josh admitted as he scratched the back of his neck. I had to hold back from rolling my eyes because I was so bored with his dumb insecurities. "When I think it is time, I guess. But I am so nervous about asking, I worry she will say no."