Broken (A Josh Hutcherson Fan fiction)

Secrets

Adrianna

         I have mixed emotions. When Josh kissed me, I felt like I was the most precious thing in the world. On the other hand, I'm confused about what I feel for Josh. I've never felt this way about someone. The only person who makes me feel like this is my son. But no one else. Not even... him. I thought I loved him, but it was an illusion. With Josh... I feel valuable. I feel beautiful. I was never enough with my parents. Even with Jason's father, I always felt like I was never enough. I always had to better myself. I thought that's what love was. Changing yourself so you can be loved. I knew what I felt was only for a short time. Once Josh knew who I really was, he would leave me. And I wouldn't hold it against him.
         "Adrianna?" Josh said, pulling me out of my thoughts. We had moved to the couch in the living and room. We were sitting incredibly close.

         "Sorry. This is just hard for me." I said.

         "I told you that you don't have to-"

         "No. I want to." I said, cutting Josh off, "It's just that... I've held these secrets for so long it feels weird telling somebody."

          "Adrianna, I won't judge you, I promise." Josh says. Don't make promises you can't keep. I took a deep breath.

          "After what I did to my mother, my father turned into this cold blooded machine. He packed everything and we left. He didn't talk to me once. He kept on saying that he'll make use of me. That if I can kill my own mother, that I won't have any trouble helping him. After we came to Maine, my father gave us a new identity. He treated me differently. He started to teach me self defense. He wouldn't care if I got bruises. He hired tutor's to homeschool me. Everyday it was study, dance, sing, sports, and training. I never had any free time. At the time, I didn't know who my father really was. Then I turned 10." I said, looking at Josh. His eyes held sorrow. My heart fluttered when I didn't see any signs of judgement, "By that time, I could take apart a gun and put it back together with my eyes closed. I knew how fight like a WWE wrestler. I loved dance and singing. They were my getaway from my father. They still are. One day, my father gave me my first assignment." My voice had gotten hard. I was so angry at my father. He had ruined my childhood. He beat me, and used me as a killing machine, "He took me to a house. He said that I had to go in there and steal some drugs. I already knew how to break into houses. Getting in was a piece of cake. But after I got the drugs, some men discovered what I was doing."

            "Did you..." Josh asked

            "No. I was too soft hearted then to kill. I knocked them out. The men gave me some bruises, but I won in the end. Then I saw little girl my age." I took another deep breath, trying to calm my nerves, "She started screaming. I did what my father trained me to do. I slammed her head against my knee, knocking her out. Luckily, no one heard her, but my father did. After I came back out, he asked me about what I did to the little girl. After I told him what I did to the little girl and to the other men, he became angry. He said that I should've killed them all." I said

              "What did he do?" Josh asked

              "He put me in a room for three days. I was chained to the wall. I only ate bread and water." I said, putting my hands on my stomach, remembering the hunger I felt.

               "WHAT?!" Josh said standing up, "WHAT KIND OF A FATHER-"

               "Josh calm down. This isn't even the worst of it." I said pulling him back down to the couch.

               "How can you be so calm!" Josh said.

               "Because I've accepted that this is my life and I can't change it. Now shut up while I tell the rest of my story." I said, "After three years, I decided that I had enough. So one night, I tried to run away." I laughed, remembering how stupid I was, "I actually thought that I could get away with it. I didn't even last two hours. My dad's 'connections' found me. That's how I got my first tattoo."