Birdie

4. Pondering

Fourteen days straight his cellphone rang, and every time, he rushed to pick up, even after checking the caller ID and seeing that it wasn't her. He still picked up and prayed to hear that angel's voice.

Chance didn't know what to do, if he should visit or not. He didn't know if she'd want to see him, if she'd even come to the visiting room, but he wanted to see her. He had to see that sweet woman. He missed her, missed her voice and her smile. Especially her smile. He had to visit, apologize to her because he needed to see her smile in person, because the pictures didn't suffice anymore, he'd looked at them for too long. Chance worshipped that smile; God, how he loved her smile.

It was like matches.

But he had made her cry. Chance had made her cry, and he felt like shit. She probably wouldn't want to see him. It made sense. She didn't even want to talk to him.

A day hadn't gone by where he hadn't heard her voice since the two started talking over the phone. Not. One. Day. And now he was going fourteen with no way to get in touch with her.

A letter wouldn't work.

He'd sat at the table so long trying to find the right thing to say. He really, really wasn't good with his words.

I'm sorry.

Carmen, when I said that I didn't want to talk to you, I didn't mean

I just wanted you to know that I...

The doubt kicked in that second. He was already outside the jailhouse, and he was scared. So scared that he physically couldn't get out the car. Like he hadn't been sitting there for an hour. There was lead in his feet, and it was heavier than his working boots. In the end, he convinced himself to go inside, and went through all the works.

It wasn't until he was sitting at that same table that something crossed his mind.

This was the last time he'd have to visit her in jail. She got out in less than two weeks.

Eleven days to be exact.

When she came out, he was standing, hadn't sat down since his ass left the seat of his truck. He needed to be on his feet, had to be. To run if she didn't want to see him.

For not the first time, he found a common thought running through his mind. This is getting completely out of hand.

That heat came, and his nerves went haywire, but he didn't look up from his shoes. And she didn't move. She wasn't going to until he looked at her, and when he did, he wanted to fall to his knees.

She wasn't smiling. Her eyes weren't shining. She looked sad.

"Carmen," He whispered her name, and before he could take a full step forward, she was launching herself into his arms.

"Carmen."

A sob escaped her already shaking body, and the guard didn't say anything when they hugged for over five minutes. He just stood there, breathing in her sweet scent, squeezing her body to his like he was scared that she'd turn to ashes the second he let her go.

He wanted to kiss her.

He wanted to her warm face-her cheeks were always burning up, blushing beneath that beautiful brown tone- and he wanted to take her lips in every way but gentle. He wanted her to kiss him like she was trying to suck his soul from his body, and he'd give it up to her without hesitation. He'd give her whatever she wanted.