ok first of all, sorry this took so long. Like I apologize from the side of my heart. I've been hella busy, but I'm gonna try to get back on a schedule. I've gotta figure it out first, but hopefully it'll be set for me soon because I've fallen off so much so again sorry sorry sorry! I meant to get this out two weeks ago! I hope you like it!
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Oh, and those of you that watch documentaries, what is your favorite? Mine is Blackfish and any serial killer doc lmao but I'm running out, so I need recommendations! ♥ I hope y'all had a good weekend, and that y'all have a goood upcoming week! Also, what would y'all want to see updated next of my active stories??
Carm,
I'm at work right now, and we just hung up with each other not even ten minutes ago, but that twenty minutes isn't enough. I wish you would call me again. I have an hour for lunch breaks and you know that. I'm not going to be able to see you for another week (because you won't let me) but I miss you like a motherfucker. I know I told you I would bring my Mom and Dad, but I'm not really in the sharing mood as of recently. I don't like it when you give other people your attention because I want it all, and I want it so bad. I know it's selfish, but I'm being honest here, and I know you won't judge me too bad for it.. Of course I'll still bring them, and I'll be on my best behavior because I'm bringing them, but the time after this I won't be bringing anybody. Not Mom, not my Daddy, not Wes. You're going to have to deal with just me.
I can tell that you're a little off- you sounded different both this time and the last time that I talked to you. I don't know, ya just seem sad. Are you okay? Let me know you're okay. I know you usually call me once or twice a day, but when you get this letter, I want you to call me, even if we've already spoken for the day. I know you've not saying something when we're on the phone, and I don't like the way that feels, and I hate the way you sound when you're sad. The way your voice changes when you're not happy is ingrained into my skull even though I haven't even seen you likes that too many times.
A few minutes ago you said that you only have a month left before your release date, and I already knew that because I've been counting down the days too. I can't wait to see you outside of that dingy ass visitation room with the permanently dirty tables. I can't wait to see you wearing something that isn't a set of dark blue scrubs with Department of Corrections stamped on the back of it. I can't wait to not see you get patted down as you leave me, and that sad look you get in those beautiful eyes of yours. I really really can't wait to hug you for more than thirty seconds. I sound so selfish right now because I know that you can't wait for those things and probably a million other things, and here I am complaining about it from the outside. I know you miss your family and friends. I know you miss your job. I know you miss real life food... But I miss you.
