You've got to be kidding me

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When I turned up to work, I was delighted to find out that I was going to be working in the Major injuries unit tonight, rather than the minor injuries unit! Apparently, I had now shown that I knew how things worked around the department, and that my medical knowledge is definitely impressive... It's a known fact that Doctor's with British qualifications do well in Australia, or any part of the world for that matter!

As soon as I stepped foot into Majors that evening I felt like I was back where I belonged, I felt like I was back in my preferred habitat. When I took over the patients from the junior doctor who was just finishing for the night, a wave of excitement hit me. In the pile of notes, there was a shoulder relocation that needed to be done, a thigh gash that needed internal and external stitches, a compound ankle fracture, and a lumber puncture. I know that I shouldn't feel joy, but I've been waiting to get my hands on cases in the major injuries department for weeks, and I just couldn't help but feel slightly elated slightly elated!

The first thing I did was change into my scrubs, because the last thing I wanted was to get covered in blood, guts and vomit within the first ten minutes of stepping into the building.

Once I'd changed, there were a few decisions to be made. I quickly evaluated each of the cases and came to the conclusion that the dislocated shoulder and the compound ankle fracture needed to be dealt with first. My reasoning was that these injuries would be causing the most pain to the people that had them, and as a Doctor, it's my job to stop pain, not prolong it.

Each of those cases took about half an hour each, and were relatively straight forward. I then moved onto the thigh laceration, and as soon as I saw the wound, I knew that stitching the gash up would take a while. All in all, forty-two stitches were needed, and believe me,, that is a hell of a lot of stitches! I was on fire tonight, and it was only half past ten, and at that minute, all I had on my 'to-do' list was a lumber puncture.

However, like normal, I spoke too soon. Just as I had prepared all of the kit for the lumber puncture, I had no choice but to postpone the procedure, because the emergency phone rang and the nurse who had taken the call announced that a male patient was inbound with a head injury, and that the ETA was 3 minutes.

After the announcement, I was told that I was going to be leading the initial assessment, and after that, the treatment plan of this patient. So, I waited by reception, just staring at the double doors in which the paramedics and more importantly, the patient would emerge through in about one minute. I'm not going to lie, that one minute was one of the longest minutes I have ever experienced. Well, apart from when Chappo nearly drowned... that takes first place in the list of the longest minutes I have ever had to experience.

Then, just as I was reliving that awful afternoon when I thought that I was going to lose Chap forever, the doors flung open, and I raced over to the oncoming paramedics. The paramedic that I recognised as Dan spoke up,

"Alright everybody, this is Tom, a male in his mid-twenties, he has an open head lac and possible concussion after tripping over and hitting his head during a highly competitive three-legged-race. C-spine precautions have been taken. Heart rate is 62, BP is 120/80, SATS are 98% and GCS is 14. He is normally fit and well, and was complaining of head and neck pain on route so has had 5 of morphine,"

"Oh my God, you have got to be kidding me," I said as I looked down at the patient to see that it was none other than Tom Bunting the lifeguard that I work with, "please tell me that you have not landed yourself in hospital because of a three-legged-race that happened at the barbecue in which I left only a couple of hours ago,"

"Trust me, I would if I could, but I can't so I won't, and by the way, it's nice to see you too,"

"Oh shut up Tom," I said before adding, "Bring the bed to bay five please Dan,"

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