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Setting: after TWS, before CW
Bucky had found you.
Of all the people in the world, the lost and broken Bucky Barnes had found you.
It had taken months for him to open up to you—for him to tell you of all the things he had been through. He was afraid that telling you sooner would only drive you away, and you were all he had. He could not lose you, for he was sure he'd lose what little of himself he had managed to get back.
"You're gonna be okay, Bucky." You sighed, your fingers running through his hair as he laid on the bed beside you, his head on your stomach.
He'd been telling you about his encounter with Captain America—the encounter that was supposed to be the end of Steve Rogers.
However, Bucky could not complete his mission. He could not kill Steve. . .not him. He'd killed many people, both good and bad, and he was only now feeling that guilt.
"I was going to kill him, but I couldn't." Bucky sighed, his eyes flickering shut as you continued playing with his hair.
"Why didn't you?" You asked.
"I knew him. I knew that I knew him," his right hand rested on your thigh, his fingertips feeling the texture of your jeans, "and somehow I knew that killing him would never set me free. It wouldn't stop the pain I felt—the pain Hydra subjected me to."
His words nearly brought tears to your eyes; you already knew about Bucky's past with Steve. You'd visited the Smithsonian several times and read about them before you ever met Bucky. However, reading the facts was far different from hearing the hurt in Bucky's voice as he tried desperately to remember his past, one piece at a time.
"They can't hurt you anymore." You reassured him, one of your hands leaving his soft locks and rubbing his bare back soothingly.
"Then why do I still feel the pain?" Bucky sat up, looking at you with pained, blue eyes.
"They took everything from you, Bucky." You frowned, looking back at him.
You could get lost in those baby blues of his. They were beautiful, and they held so much emotion behind them. It physically hurt to look into them, but you couldn't help but stare.
"I want my life back." Bucky sighed, pulling you into his arms. "I want my friend back."
"What if I tried to find him for you?" You asked, your face pressed against his bare chest.
"You'd do that for me, sweetheart?" He asked, loosening his arms as you pulled away to look at him.
"Of course, Buck. I would do anything for you; you know that."
"You've done so much for me the past year, (y/n). I can never give back to you all you've done for me." His flesh hand cupped your cheek as he admired your features.
"You being here is more than enough for me." You formed a small smile, sadness still lingering in the air.
Bucky leaned forward, his lips pressing to yours gently at first. Even after being together for the past eight months, his kisses still gave you butterflies. He deepened the kiss, his metal arm pulling you flush against his torso. The warmth of his skin was comforting and familiar, and you wished you could stay in his arms forever.
"(Y/n)?" Bucky whispered once he'd finally pulled away.
"Mhm?" You asked, pecking him on the lips one more time.
"Do you think I could make things right with Steve?" He asked, looking at you seriously.
"I think so. I mean, he still remembers everything. I've never met him, but he doesn't seem the type to hold you accountable for the things you did while under Hydra's influence. No matter what, you're still Bucky. You were his best friend." You smiled weakly, his hand rubbing your arm lightly.
Bucky nodded, feeling a little more hopeful after hearing your words. As silence settled over you, he leaned in again, pulling you into another kiss.
Though he was lost and broken, he was still Bucky. Deep down, you knew that if Steve was the man everyone thought him to be, he was probably looking for Bucky right now.
Steve probably wanted his friend back just as badly as Bucky did.
