Restless Hope

Chapter 15

Isaac

"It's not like that," I overheard Beth saying. I could see them standing in the living room, backs toward me. Not wanting to draw attention to myself, I stood still. I hoped she had hidden the ring, but her aunt's words made it clear she hadn't.

"I understand. You're young. You think you're in love, but who's to say it will last?"

"We'll make it," Beth said. Her aunt sighed.

"You think it's love, but how can you be sure? You spent all that time tutoring him when you could have been pursuing your own talents, and now that you are at Harvard, it's happening all over again. Just think of the skills you might have developed if you had focused your energies there instead of on that boy."

"I don't want to be ..." Beth began.

"Let's be honest. You and I both know the only reason he is even here is because you were clever enough to help him with that essay. He wouldn't have ever been accepted on his own. When you find a man to love, he should be your equal. Don't throw your life away on a dreamer. He has yet to prove whether he will ever amount to anything."

She pulled Beth's hand toward her for a closer look at the engagement band.

"Was this his mother's ring? Because if it was, it's kind of disgusting. You shouldn't wear the ring of a woman who mocked everything holy that marriage stands for. You deserve better."

"It's his grandmother's ring. And I think..." 

Her aunt snorted, cutting Beth off again.

"Now there's another marriage made in heaven. Violetta is a good woman, but her husband abandoned her when she was pregnant. No, Beth, if he can't even afford a proper ring, he can't afford to take care of you. You don't need this kind of baggage in your life. You need to give this infatuation up, for now at least. You're too young to know what you want for sure. There is no need to rush an engagement. You need to complete your education without that kind of distraction. He should do the same. You know as well as me that you need your freedom. Do you really want to move straight from a situation where your father controls you to a life where a husband calls all the shots?

"This is the time to live for yourself, to have fun, to discover who you are and what you want to be without a husband to constantly place demands on your time. You may think you're fine without taking that time, but trust me, the day will come that you will look back and wish you had lived for yourself for awhile. There's no need to rush this. There will be plenty of time for the demands of marriage after you have your degree and have charted the course you want. You never know what might happen, and you want the confidence of knowing you can take care of yourself. Don't be reliant on a man."

My hand curled into a fist. I knew I wasn't Beth's equal, but to act like our love wasn't real just because we were young ticked me off. I wasn't doing that, was I? It's not like I'd begged for her help. And I had worked hard for my place here.

The way Beth's aunt kept calling me boy was especially grating. I was no boy, I was 20, and I could take care of her niece just fine, thank you. Who did she think I was? I wasn't stupid enough to give her my mother's wedding ring, even if she hadn't been buried with it. And just because my family was screwed up didn't automatically make me a screw up.

Beth's aunt refused to shut up.

"I know what's it like to give up your identity as a young wife. Like so many of my friends, I married young. The worst part was I didn't even see it in myself, until my husband died and left me a widow when I was only 30. I was devastated to lose him, but the most difficult part was realizing that I had given up my education to play the role of supportive wife. I had no way to take care of myself because I didn't have a single marketable skill. He didn't ask me to give it all up, but in the end, all the demands on my time made it inevitable. You don't understand what it is to be a wife, Beth. Your life is not your own anymore. And then when children come? I suppose he has mentioned children?"