Challenge Accepted(A Barney Stinson/HIMYM Fan-fiction) BOOK ONE

Chapter One: Target Acquired

"Kids, did I ever tell you the story about how Uncle Barney fell in love?"

"Shockingly enough...no, I don't think we've heard that one." The daughter replied.

"How did that happen?"

"Well, it was the fall of 2007..."

~~~Barney~~~

"Lily?! How many times do I have to prove to you that I can get any, and I repeat, any girl in this bar?" I asked, smoothing down my suit jacket.

"Oh please. You cannot. There has to be at least one  girl that has some ounce of self respect."

"Challenge accepted. Pick a girl, any girl, and I guarantee you, I will be going home with her tonight." She scanned the room, then smiled.

"Her." I turned around in my booth seat to see a girl. She wasn't the usual type, her brown hair twisted into a messy bun, and a pair of thick-framed black glasses sinking low on her nose. A book was open on the bar in front of her as she nursed her drink.

"Target Acquired." I stood up, walking over to the bar. "Hi there."

"Go away." She immediately responded, not looking up from her book.

"I just wanted to point out that...I spotted you from across the room, and I realized-" She slammed her book shut, looking up at me with an annoyed expression.

"Listen, I've got better things to do that listen to some d-bag with a suit try and hit on me in a bar. A piece of advice, if you want to hit on a girl, don't refer to them as a 'target' so loudly in such a small room."  I stood there, speechless as she left and retreated to the bathroom. I turned around, slowly walking back to my seat and sitting down.

"Told you." Lily said.

"No girl has ever spoken to me like that before...but the challenge isn't over yet!"

"Barney, she already said no, just leave that poor girl alone."

"I have to complete the challenge. Suit up!"

"You're already in a suit." Marshall pointed out from beside her.

"So? There's always a reason to suit up." The couple looked at each other, rolling their eyes.

"You see, Robin and I had just broken up, so I was in my usual break-up stage, with my break-up beard, not prepared to do any of the crazy things Barney had planned. It appeared however, that he didn't need me, as he found his own way to keep himself busy...and boy, did he."

~~~Lauren~~~

"A scotch for the lady." The bartender told me.

"I didn't order this."

"It's from that guy." I turned, seeing the blonde guy from earlier at a table with a girl dark hair and a big guy. I rolled my eyes, grabbing the drink and walking over to the table. They guy pretended not to see me and I slammed the drink on the table.

"Next time, it goes all over your Italian suit."

"You know suits?" He asked.

"Let's just say I have a lot of experience." I walked away, grabbing my book and my bag and leaving McLaren's.  A little background:

 I'm a law student coming from a family of lawyers, I'm twenty-four, and I thought that there in that bar would be the last time I saw Barney Stinson...oh how wrong I was.

~~~Three Days Later~~~

I couldn't help overhearing the conversation going on behind me.

"I just wanna make sure you're ok with this? Dang it! I can't believe she's the one that gets to say that. She's winning, isn't she?"

"Ha, not for long. Ok, Pep talk. Take a knee. Ted, tonight, we're gonna get you someone way hotter than Robin. Ok, so Robin's a ten. Fine, we'll get you a twelve. Or, you know, two sixes. Failing that, four threes. And break glass in case of emergency, we'll go to Staton Island and get you twelve ones. Ted, my boy, I am going to re-teach you how..." I turned to look at them to see the guy he was talking to making out with a girl.

"Ted."

"Amy."

"Barney." He said awkwardly, leaning against the bar.

"Looks like he doesn't need your help." The guy turned around and our eyes widened as we saw each other.

"You?!"

"You're that girl from the other day. The one that returned my drink and called me a d-bag."

"You're that disgusting pig that referred to me as a 'target'." I countered. He laughed.

"Yeah, about that...I really think we got off on the wrong foot."

"You think?" I asked. 

"Yeah. My friend kind of bet me that I couldn't take you home."

"Please, I wouldn't let you eat food off of the ground I walk on, let alone go home with you."

"Challenge accepted."

"What challenge?!" I asked. "Who said anything about a challenge."

"Ok, ma'am. Allow me to make you a deal. Fifty bucks says I can get you to fall for me."

"Fall for you? Really?" I scoffed. "Fine. What's in this for me?'

"Fifty bucks and the satisfaction of knowing you could withstand my charms." I rolled my eyes.

"You're on." I shook his hand.

"How about we start with names. I'm-"

"Barney. I know." I told him.

"What's your name then?"

"Lauren. Lauren Carson."

"And that's how it all started. Just a silly bet between your uncle Barney and the girl in the bar who wanted nothing to do with him. Little did they know at the time, however, that it would grow into something much bigger than that."

"So what, that's it? Who was this girl? How did she fall in love with Uncle Barney?"

"Hold on. I'm getting to that. Much like how I met your mother, this one's a long story."