Challenge Accepted(A Barney Stinson/HIMYM Fan-fiction) BOOK ONE

Chapter Thirteen: This Side of Barney

~~~Barney~~~
I knocked back a Gin and Tonic, sitting in McLaren's alone. How can she say that? Lawrence is the best man she's ever met? What about Ted, or Marshall...or me.

Who am I kidding? I don't exactly have the best track record with women.  No wonder she didn't even consider me.

"Barney?" I looked up to see Lily. "Are you ok?"

"No."

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"I can't tell you. I should tell you, but I can't. I have to. I never will! I'm going to. Let's just drop it. What's up with you?"

"Barney, just say it." She said, sitting down across from me. I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"I think I'm in love with Lauren." Hey eyes widened and her jaw dropped.

"I don't believe it. You're in love? That is so sweet!"

"It's not sweet! It's like a disease! I just got to know Lauren and somehow I caught feelings! I caught feelings bad. "

"Oh, Barney, you don't catch feelings, you just have them. And they're good. "

"They're terrible! I can't eat, I can't sleep. She's all I think about. I close my eyes, I see Lauren. I hear a song, it reminds me of Lauren. I play laser tag  and again, Lauren! I can't even hit on a girl anymore. It just feels wrong."

"She has a boyfriend." Lily realized. "Do you want to be her boyfriend?" 

"Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. Boyfriend? I don't want to Lauren's 'boyfriend'."

"Well, what do you want, then?"

"I don't know. I just want to be with her. All the time. I want to hear about her day, and tell her about mine. I want to hold her hand and smell her hair. But I don't want to be her stupid boyfriend."

"Barney, what you just described is a relationship between a boyfriend and a girlfriend, and a pretty clingy one at that."

"But...Lawrence."

"You have to tell her, Barney." I shook my head.

"I can't. She told me this morning that Lawrence is...the best man she ever met. How can I possibly compete with that?"

"I'll help you."

"How?" I asked.

"Well, before you tell her anything, You need to call her. Lauren just needs to see this new side of you. "

"So just call her up?"

"Just call her up." I clicked on her name, holding the phone.

"It's..."

"Hi this is Lauren! Leave it at the beep."

"Hh-yah-ha-ah-ah." I hung up.

"She wasn't there. I left a voice mail." I said coolly.

"You left a voice, but it wasn't male. Barney, I don't get it. You've called a million girls a million times."

"There's a huge difference between a million girls, and...this girl." She made a face.

"Aw! Barney!"  The phone rang and I looked at it.

"Ah, ah, it's her. It's Lauren, what do I do?" She took the phone, answering it and handing it to me. "No, no, no, no-Lauren, great to hear from you. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Barney, you called me, said 'hmahaahladhd' and hung up. What do you want?" She sounded irritated. Makes sense.  I chuckled.

"Help me." I whispered to Lily.