Challenge Accepted(A Barney Stinson/HIMYM Fan-fiction) BOOK ONE

Chapter Eighteen: 8.3 Seconds

"No...hmm...what could she mean, when she says no?" Robin asked sarcastically. Ted had just finished telling us about how his laser tattoo removal therapist won't go out with him.

"Is that English? Maybe you should hire a translator." I suggested, sipping my drink.

"This is far from over. We're talkin' ten weeks from now. Who knows what she'll want then? Do you know what you're gonna want for lunch ten days from now?"

"Sloppy Joe, shrimp cocktail, and a milkshake." Marshall  told him.

"I'm holding you to that." I pointed a finger at him.

"Ted, do you know  how long it takes a woman to decide whether or not she's gonna go out with a guy? 8.3 seconds. After that, her decision is made. She will not change her mind."

"Not true." I told him.

"Prove it."

"Challenge accepted." I replied. "Already done."

"How so?"

"It took me 8.3 seconds."

"And?"

"I'm dating you." The others laughed and I shrugged.

"Yeah, but...come on." He gestured to himself. I nodded.

"Oh yeah...I saw you." He narrowed his eyes at me and I smirked.

"Either way, describe your first 8.3 seconds with Stella."

"Well, she called me in, said 'Lower back butterfly tattoo, you're up'. I stood up at the same time as a blonde girl in a short denim skirt and a tank-top." He all groaned. "So we got off to a rocky start. That may be a problem for some guys, but I get better over time. Right?"  I opened my mouth to reply, but Barney clasped his hand over it. "I'm not some top 40 song, easily digestible. I'm complex. I require time and multiple listens. I'm Stairway to Heaven."

"Wow, Rodger Daltrey just rolled over in his grave." Robin laughed. He all looked at her confused. "That's not the right guy is it." Barney and I shook our heads, his hand still over my mouth. "He's not even dead, is he?" We shook our heads again, and I pulled his hand off of my mouth.

"I think that's great, Ted. You can do  whatever you set your mind to. In fact, you've inspired me. I'm gonna stop biting my nails."

"But Baby, you love biting your nails." Marshall told her.

"I know, but I'm doing this for Ted. Gosh this is really hard." She lifted a hand to her mouth, only to have Marshall grab it and put it in his lap.

"Give me ten sessions, I'm going to turn that 'no' into a 'yes'."

"Really Ted. You think so? Well, Tell me,ow did the rest of that session go?"

"I screamed. Like a high-pitched girly scream.

"Yeah, but tattoo removal really hurts. Everyone probably sounds like that."

"The receptionist came in and asked if I was alright because she heard a woman screaming." I leaned my forehead against Barney's shoulder, laughing into his arm, as he laughed into my hair.

"Here's to nine more great sessions." Ted said weakly. Barney laughed more and I sat up, causing him to lean into me.

~~~

Everyone separated, and Barney and I walked out onto the street.

"So, what made your 8.3 seconds?" He asked.

"You said 'target acquired'." I reminded him. He nodded, grabbing my hand.

"Fair enough. So what changed your mind?"