Challenge Accepted(A Barney Stinson/HIMYM Fan-fiction) BOOK ONE

Chapter Twenty-One: Not That Guy Anymore

~~~Barney~~~

"Couples fight Barney. It's what they do!" Lily assured me.

"But we don't fight." I replied.

"Just because you haven't before doesn't mean your relationship is falling apart.  And you've got to cut her some slack. She needs time to adjust." I sighed, raking ahand through my hair.

"I know...I know." We were on our way to interagate the top four women from our bracket to see which one was harrassing Lauren. The first, was Meg. "Ok, there's her building. When she comes out, I'm gonna hide, and once you figure out if she's the girl from the bar, we run like heck."

"No." She said.

"What do you mean, no?"

"You said you're a changed man, right? Prove it. That woman, like every woman in your final four, deserves an apology, and I'm not telling you if she's the one until I hear you say, 'I'm sorry'."

"Lily, this girl hates me. I hooked up with her in an apartment I was pretending was my own, told her I loved her, and then ditched her there. She got arrested for trespassing, bit a cop, and spent eight days in jail. Oh, crap there she is. If she sees me she's gonna kill me." I ducked down.

"Ok, here' swhat we're gonna do. Hey Meg!" She grabbed my arm, pulling me up. "Look who it is, it's your old friend Barney."

"Barney?" She started towards us.

"If she kills me, I want you to go into my apartment, grab the metal briefcase that's under my bed and throw it in the East River. And tell Lauren that I love her."

"What?!" She exclaimed.

"What are you doing here?" Meg asked, when she approacehd us."

"Look, Meg, we need to talk."

"Shh." She held a finger to my mouth. "It was all my fault." I turned to Lily, who gestured at the girl. I turned back to Meg.

"I know it was, Baby. And I forgive you."

"Barney! She's not the one, but you still owe her an a-" I turned, walking away quickly before she could say anything. I don't know know what happened. I just panicked and then I started talking, and...

~~~

Next was Anna.

"So you remember who this one is, right?" I asked Lily.

"Yes, you told her that you were Ted and that you were an architect. Go over there an apologize. "

"Ah, there she is."I turned around.

"Oh, and she has hot coffee. Maybe she'll throw it in your face."

"You're really enjoying this, aren't you?" I asked.

"I'm making a scrapbook." She took a picture of me.  I walked over.

"Anna...hi."

"Look who it is, Mr.Big-shot Architect." I opened my mouth. "If you're here to ask me to take down the web site, forget it."

"What website?"

"TedMosbyIsAJerk.com."  (http://tedmosbyisajerk.com/) 

"You're right, I do deserve that. That's all I came here to say. You know what? I don't care who knows about it." I stood up on a chair.

"Excuse me. Excuse me. I, Ted Mosby, am a jerk to women. Tell your sisters, tell your daughters to stay away.TedMosbyIsAJerk.com"  I got off of the chair, leaving the café.

~~~

Two failed attempts and a ruined relationship later, we headed back to the apartment to catchup witht he others.

"We ruined their lives. And the worst part of it, you didn't apologize to any of those women."

"No, the worst part is that we still don't know who my stalker is."

"Well, that's because you're going about this all wrong. I mean, why chase someone who's following you? All you need to do is go down to the bar, hit on someone, and wait until she turns up."

"That's not a bad idea."

"Oh, oh. I'll pretend to be the girl you're hitting on." Robin said.

"I don't know, that's a lot ridingon a girl who giggles when she lies." Ted told her.

"I do not."

"Have you ever fallen asleep while eating ribs."

"No." She giggled. "Look, I can do this, ok? I mean how else are you going to find out who this girl is?"

"I'm in. But first, has anyone seen Lauren today?"  I asked.

"No, she hasn't been around." Marshall replied.

"I'm gonna go call her real quick, then we'll execute the plan." I walked out into the hallway to see that she wason her way up to the apartment. "Lauren!"

"Barney...Look, about the other day-"

"No. It's ok.  I can't expect you to just magically be ok with everything that happened." She tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Either way...I'm sorry." I grabbed her arm, pulling her to me and hugging her, resting my chin on her head. She smelled amazing.  I grabbed her hand, pulling her back into the apartment.

"Hey Lauren." They all greeted. I smiled at them.

"Ok, here's how it's gonna work. Now, Lily and Lauren, she knows what you two look like, so just hang out at the jukebox, and don't draw any attention to yourselves."

"What's going on?" I asked.

"We're setting a trap for your stalker."  Ted told me.

"And the guys will be in the booth, just pretending to have a normal conversation. And then I'll come in, looking hot as all hecl. And then Barney will make his move."

~~~

Lily and I stood by the juke box, and I watched as Barney stood up and walking over to Robin. I was slowly swaying when I saw him running his fingers over her leg.

"It's just for the act, Lauren." Lily reminded me.

"I know. I know it is.That doesn't stop me from being uncomfertable." I told her.

"I know, sweetie." He leaned forward, whispering in her ear.

"I'm sorry, I can't watch this." I went to leave, but she grabbed my wrist.

"I think you need to be here." Barney left her, going to the bathroom. I watched as a blodne girl walked over to Robin. Barney slid back into the booth. I walked over to them.

"You ok?" Ted asked. He had apeice of paper in front of him.

"I don't even recognize her." Barney said. He stood up, stopping teh blonde girl. I walked over behind him. I opened my mouth to tell him it wasn't her, but he started talking. "Hey. I don't remember you. I've spent the last two days trying to remember every girl that I've hit on and all of the horrible things that I have done to them. And I have done some horrible things. I mean, at one point, I'm pretty sure I sold a woman. I didn't speak the language, but I shook a guy's hand, he gave me the keys to a Mercedes, and I left her there. I'm the guy who keeps a scrapbook of all the somen I have slept with, but I never thought I would be that guy that would sleep with a girl and not even remember her. So, from the bottom of my heart, for whatever I did to you, I apologize."

"Oh, Barney. I'm so proud of you!" Lily told him. "That'snot her."

"What? What?!"

"Barney, I'm sorry, that's my friend Sally from work. We just ran into each other." Robin told him. I put a hand on his shoulder, turning him around.

"Lauren, I know this is hard for you to hear-"

"You're not that guy anymore." I cut him off. I grabbed his face, kissing him lightly before wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him. He wrapped his arms around my waist. Lily snapped a picture.