Challenge Accepted(A Barney Stinson/HIMYM Fan-fiction) BOOK ONE

Chapter Twelve: The Platinum Rule

I stormed into the building, tracking the directory to Barney's office. I opened the door, shutting it behind me.

"Lauren?" Barney asked, from behind his desk.

"Why don't you like him?" He furrowed his eyebrows. "Lawrence." He nodded.

"I just...don't think he's the right guy for you."

"How could he not be the right guy for me? He's perfect, Barney." I said.

"He's too...generic."

"What does that even mean?" I asked. "You know what, it doesn't even matter. Look, Barney. I really like Lawrence. Ok? And it's really important that him and my friends get along. Especially you, my best friend." He nodded.

"Ok. No promises, but I'll try to be nice...if that's what you want."

"It is. Thank you, Barney. And who knows? Maybe we can all go play laser tag sometime or something."

"Yeah, no. Too far."

"Ok, fair enough. Thanks again. You're the best." He gave me a small smile.

"I know. Now get out of my office." I rolled my eyes, leaving his office and going back downstairs.

~~~Barney~~~

I watched her leave, and...it sucked.

Best friend.

I'm her best friend.

Lawrence is her boyfriend and I am...just a friend.

~~~Three Months Later~~~

"Say goodbye, kids, 'cause it won't be around much longer." I sat on the couch with Barney reading a book, while Marshall sat in the chair, eating.. Ted flipped his shirt up, exposing the butterfly tattoo he had gotten the night I met him.

"Oh, Ted, but if you get rid of the butterfly, how's everyone gonna know you're a stripper from Reno with daddy issues?" Lily asked as her and Robin came out of the kitchen.

"Yes, yes, enjoy these final moments of mockery, because in just ten surprisingly expensive sessions, Stella is gonna zap that butterfly right off the face of my lower back. " Lily and Robin sat down, smushing me tightly in between the arm of the couch and Barney.

"Stella?" Robin questioned.

"Dr. Stella Zinman. She's the best in the business. And she's rather cute. In fact, we're going to a movie together tonight."

"What?!" Barney asked.

"I asked her out."  Everyone groaned.

"Ted why?"

"Why would you do that?'

"What's wrong with that?" I asked.

"Yeah, what do you mean?"

"Dude...Don't poop where you eat."

"Not getting the analogy here." I told him.

"If it's someone you see on a regular basis, and you can't avoid them..."

"And in this case, you're paying them, then yes, it counts."

"What are we talking about here?!" I asked, confused.

"You've heard of the Golden rule, right? 'Love thy Neighbor'?"

"That's not the golden rule."

"Dang it, Lauren. I've worked out this whole thing where the golden rule is 'Love thy neighbor', so just....ok?" I held up my hand in surrender. "Now the golden rule is 'Love thy neighbor' but there's one rule above it, the platinum rule. 'Never ever, ever, ever, love thy neighbor." He did a little hip thrust thing, and I groaned. Then realization struck me.